How to not alienate whites

Having born witness to Obama's bold rejection of the all-powerful "Black Reparations Lobby," I am taking suggestions for how Obama can better prove to white people that he has no love for the darkies, without losing the vote of said darkies. I am thinking Obama should....

1.) ...address the NAACP convention. Denounce said convention and reveal their integrationist agenda for what it truly is--a plot to ensure easy access to white women,

2.)...visit 125th street. Repudiate Harlem as evidence of the ancient evil of  reverse discrimination.

3.)...get Sista Souljah another record contract. Denounce her again.

4.)...praise the Boston Celtics. These days, that's a win-win.

It's a delicate dance guys. We need your suggestions. Only with your help can Obama prove to whites that his election isn't the triumph of some Marxist-Muslim-Miscegenist-Afrocentric-Red, Black and Green-waving,  Frantz Fanon quoting cabal, while still getting the votes of those who are members of the Marxist-Muslim-Miscegenist-Afrocentric-Red, Black and Green-waving-Frantz Fanon-quoting cabal

Comments

lol...

Get up on stage and hold up a copy of that article about the woman on welfare who had a big screen TV (http://blog.nola.com/updates/2007/12/housing_officials_claim_surplu.html) that everyone got so up in arms about and tell her she should downgrade to a 21" non-HD so that white people will respect black people, FINALLY!

Posted by Riise | June 23, 2008 2:18 PM

Decry saggers with every breath!

Posted by Michael O'Neill | June 23, 2008 2:58 PM

Mr. Coates:

Are you mocking the media's lack of professionalism, or are you saying that the media is accurately portraying a universal white perception (that Obama must "prove to white people that he has no love for the darkies") and then mocking that universal white perception?

If the latter, then when will we start to abandon stereotypes, both stereotypes of other groups and stereotypes of our own groups? Why do we feel that mocking caricatures of each other is some form of progress?

When the media is perpetuating (when not outright manufacturing)misperceptions, then how do we counter those misperceptions? Is that not a list worth creating?

Posted by Lance_K | June 23, 2008 3:27 PM

Lance_K = concern troll.

Obama should give a speech on the necessity of quality housing for all people and then promise Cosby a spot in HUD.

Posted by Loneoak | June 23, 2008 3:47 PM

It's a joke Lance. Nothing deep here. I don't think literally bringing Sista Souljah out of retirement and denouncing her will get many white votes.

Posted by Ta-Nehisi Coates | June 23, 2008 3:53 PM

My white guy self-esteem went up 30% just knowing that a woman or a black guy would get a nomination...boy, we've really come a long way. What a moment of validation awaits if the black guy gets elected. Hats off to the rest of you for not giving up on America.

Posted by rickhavoc | June 23, 2008 4:09 PM

He just needs to wear more t-shirts with funny sayings. Oh, and maybe set up a booth at a farmers market. Link in name.

Posted by crack | June 23, 2008 4:30 PM

Admit to a life-long affection for Pat Boone's versions of Little Richard songs.

Posted by peep | June 23, 2008 4:44 PM

Dr. Boyce Watkins also has a list of things Obama should do here:

Barack Obama Election Advice:Black Denunciations that Just Might Do The Trick

I did one of them already since Watkins wrote this...lol.

Posted by RhondaCoca | June 23, 2008 5:00 PM

Sorry, Here is the url:

http://www.blackprof.com/?p=2052

Posted by RhondaCoca | June 23, 2008 5:01 PM

Denounce the following people:
*Malcolm X (as an ex-con with a mic and a negative attitude)
*Frederick Douglass (as a long-haired hippie agitator)
*Nelson Mandela (as impatient)

Give props to:
*Bernard Goetz (as a man of action)
*Joss Stone (as the Queen of Soul)
*Lynrd Skynrd (funkiest band alive)

Posted by CeezDiem | June 23, 2008 5:58 PM

Mr. Coates engaged in no stereotyping, Lance. I see you're still up to your pre-K guilt trip tricks again. "Mr. Coates you're stereotyping just like them. Now is that progress?"

The definition of weak azz arguments made with the aim to, this time, "progress" as the emotional guilt trip ("you do want progress, don't you?") on Mr. Coates.

I'm still waiting for links to the blogs with White authors where you try to pull this out of print, old and worn, textbook nonsense. And here's the least you can do:

When you claim that "we're" making caricatures of each other, make suere you're actually talking about a caricature that was created and exploited. Ta-Nehisi didn't make this idiotic anxiety about Obama supporting reparations up.

But I got a caricature for you. You must be one of them characters who is Colorblind in One Eye. You are keenly focused on Mr. Coates and have nothing to say to or about the idiots who raise questions out of ridiculous racial fear which happens to be confounded by the fact that their too damn lazy to f-ckin' pay attention and know where Obama stands on the issue of reparations.

But, wait... What am I thinking? You think just like them. You think Black people (Mr. Coates, e.g.) should make a special point to answer your stupid azz questions and spare you the pain of having to think.

"Are you mocking the media's lack of professionalism..."

Posted by Nquest | June 23, 2008 8:31 PM

In some ways, Obama's courtship of African American voters is reminiscent of the way white liberal Democrats have tried to gain black support. Kennedy's 1960 campaign, for example, was adept at reaching out to the African American electorate through channels unseen by average white voters. At the same time, Kennedy routinely went out of his way to allay the fears of white southerners who decried challenges to segregation. If Obama is elected, he is going to face serious fissures in his coalition when it becomes apparent that racial conservatives and racial progressives expect something entirely different from him. Many whites who support him want him to be a black leader in the tradition of Booker T. Washington and will only support him if he lives up to this standard. It will be a rocky road on the racial front if this continues to be the pattern of how decides to forge a bi-racial coalition.

Posted by ubstu34 | June 24, 2008 8:39 AM