I present your spokesperson. Seriously, it's over. He comes equipped with requisite "black friend," and a buddy who plays an "American guitatar"--as opposed to a, you know, French one. I know, I'm mocking "small-town American." I clearly have no regard for the "white working class"--the only working class that exists, ever, in history. What do you expect? I'm the only guy who started drinking Honest Tea because McCain mocked Obama for drinking it.
UPDATE: For the record, I hate all campaign songs equally. The "Yes We Can" video--and song--was propaganda as corn syrup. I'm not sure what to call this--except not good.
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This pick is, I suspect, as offensive to me as Al Sharpton is to you. Well done.
OK, so I saw Rich and Cowboy Troy, I think, but no Big. Does this mean Big is for Obama?? If so, this election is officially over.
What Elliot said. I'll jump out of a window now.
I know it's dumb, but I actually really liked the Yes We Can song. I listened to it while cleaning for weeks, and found it very motivational...Yes I can...fold these clothes... It was just cheerful somehow and put me in a good mood, and I still hum it sometimes.
This is actually the perfect McCain campaign song. It repeats the same chorus over and over and over again; the only information it includes about the candidate is the POW story, and it features absolutely no plans or policy; a pretty brunette plays a supporting role, with the lead singer much less animated than his female sidekick; the audience prominently features a disabled person, but absolutely nobody who hasn't drunk the kool-aid.
I think you missed his Log Cabin bro at :33.
I'm totally READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL! Oh wait.
I agree with Eliot that this pick hurts so good. Well done.
I see the black dude who showed up at the RNC but he doesn't seem to actually be part of the band, at least not in that video. His role seems to be as a dancer. Odd.
Sigh. No youtube at work.
So who speaks for me? I'm guessing it didn't end up being Galactus after all.
Hmm. I'm with Simon; the fiddler really is quite pretty. I can't tell anything about the guy at 33 except that he is not rhythmically gifted, which blows both stereotypes I might associate with "log cabin" so I am clueless regarding my representative's sidekick. Alas.
I really was pulling for Galactus.
This makes me sad. Yet again, disappointed by The Man.
This is perfect. The black guy--Cowboy Troy, a country act in his own right--just dances. He doesn't even play an instrument. He's almost a mascot.
WTF is this bullshit?
As a musician myself, nothing frustrates me more than the lead singer who slings a guitar and then spends half the song not playing it, so that he can gesticulate wildly with his hands and "air fiddle."
Seriously, play the thing or put it down. Obviously, putting it down would be the better choice - your playing clearly doesn't impact or benefit the song, if you can spend half the song not playing and no one notices the missing riffs.
A terrible choice. Accusations that Ta-Nehisi is part of the conspiracy to keep the white man down are proven. Something must be done to dethrone B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D..
I wanted a spokesman with a bit of redneck in him. He might be more of a good ole boy than redneck.
Who the fuck is this guy? I think I saw him on tv with Bobby Brown once, but I'm clueless. Is that mustache penciled in?
I'd much rather have Lando as a spokesman. Hell I think I'd rather have Al Sharpton as a spokesman.
I'm the only guy who started drinking Honest Tea because McCain mocked Obama for drinking it.
Dude, you def aren't the only one
This must not stand. I'd like to recruit Sharpton to lead us in a boycott of Atlantic sponsors as a formal protest to the abysmal treatment we as white people have suffered at the hands of Mr. Coates.
Damn you, TNC. Damn you to hell!
Is this dude gonna give Dave Davies his flying-V back after he's done with it?
Meanwhile, I'll be over here at the Burt Reynolds counter-convention, awaiting my marching orders.
I'm effete and renaissance, so naturally I lean Shatner, but this is a very good selection.
congrats white people, and thank you, for now we ethnics have someone to ask about your culture and your often inscrutable intentions. this man seems like he is the ying to al sharpton's yang and reminds me a little bit of every white person who ever pulled a gun on me after i've accidentally tread on his property. (there's a stereotype for you!) i mean, he seems likeable, but any racial spokesman should remind one of the intimidating 'tendencies' of the race.
i actually like this song better than the obama song. this song and video have just the right level of 'retarded' for a campaign cheer. and 'LECTRIC GUITAR! sweet! and there are the same three shots of pretty white girls jumping up and down, nice.
PS: T-NC: You put an extra t&a into the word "guitar". Freudian slip?
TNC:
Does Cowboy Troy love America as much as you do?
Galactus could have written a way better campaign song, but he's too busy EATING PLANETS.
Slammin' Viagra commercial!! Where the hell is Sarah?
I'm going to reject my race and start talking black. Sharpton would be better than this fool.
Wait, I think Cowboy Troy plays American guitar for a couple of seconds around 1:53. And I will admit he is a slightly better dancer than the :33 dreadful chest thump/fist thrust suggested.
Anyone else have the urge to eat freedom fries?
I have to say I'm disappointed, but not overly so. I was rooting for Congressman Westmoreland there at the end: he's probably about what we deserve.
Here's a fun music history question: What's another well-known instance--besides "Yes We Can"--of a speech being set to music? Answer: Bob Marley's "War," using the words of Haille Selassie, a REAL messiah figure in Rastafarianism. I'm sure Will.I.Am was emulating Marley when he did "Yes We Can," and now that the "Barack thinks he's god" meme is being pushed by the RNC, I think Barack and Will.I.Am should can it. Not saying I don't like the song, I just don't want to hear it again for oh, fifteen years or so, after Obama's long out of office.
Oh come on! You get Billy Dee Williams, the man who portrayed great space Armenian, and we get this moron?! This is the first time I've ever felt like a persecuted white person. I hope you're proud of yourself.
I'm one up on you: I started drinking Honest Tea because I saw it mentioned in that NYT article about his body man, before McCain started mocking him for it. Now I can't get enough of the stuff. The man has good taste in tea.
BTW, Cowboy Curtis kicks Cowboy Troy's ass.
Couldn't have you just anointed a can of Schlitz as the official spokesman for my people and I? Schlitz blows, but it at least it allows me to drown out the memories of this asshole. Fuck he's annoying and represents all the douchy aspects of white culture; but I guess that was kind of your point, wasn't it?
Who are these people?
Apparently, we're all just raisin McCain. Were there any other words to that song?
Hell, I would have taken G.G. Allen over this douche! Well done Ta-Nehisi, you're a smashing success at getting my dander up by appointing a laughing stock as my 'spokesman.' Mission accomplished and empathy achieved!
So, what are Rich's thought on the white equivalent to ghetto?
Let me second all of those who said: WTF?
Here's my objection to this pick; at least Billy Dee has some appeal to those not of his melanin content. I doubt there's even a thousand Black, redneck, jingoistic jerk-offs in all of America that would find this doofus and his lame band even remotely appealing.
Dude, you gots to come with better than that. (Or was that too White?)
Just fantastic. I like the lines in the chorus that folks need "to get on the train or get outta the way"--there's a governing philosophy for you. You're either with us, or we're runnin' you over!
I am sick and tired of people claiming to be better than me, just because I don't like country music, I don't own any guns, I don't drive a pickup truck, and I'm not religious.
Damn elitists.
"hate all campaign songs equally?!?!?!"
WTF? Hello! "I'm In Love With Obama." I think that's why I'm voting for him now, fool...
Maybe the song sucked but the video was awesome. Don't make me come up there...
TNC-
ok, I get it now. I like your implicit assumption that all white people are Americans. Now I feel insulted and marginalized from two directions at once! Well played, sir! I could only be happier if they would play a song sneering at D&D players!
Did I see a paraplegic dancing midget? Why?
Okay, now you've done it: the last 50 years of Jewish assimilation totally down the tubes. I'm completely puzzled with the appeal of this guy, can't imaging any fellow MOTs feeling much different (especially Kinky Friedman) so I guess we're back to not being White again. Odd feeling.
Were there any other words to that song?
John McCain was a POW. I know, who knew?
This was just, such, such a great song, and a wise, deely sympathetic choice by the judge.
I want to thank you TNC, for your clear understanding of white culture, your depth of knowledge, and your love of America.
The song - well, what can I say?
It's peppy. It's catchy. It's upbeat! Shows some true american honky-tonk, with some fine young filly fiddling out there in front.
The song says - we can do it!!
We ARE Raising McCain. Right into the White House!!
@ gracchus and canuckistani: Fools! Can't you see the cynical divide-and-conquer strategy at work here? Wake up White People! WAKE UP!!!!
Why are all the spokesperson threads the only place on the entire internet where I actually enjoy every single comment made. There's insight, comedy and an interesting exchange of ideas.
My god this is strange.
As always, love the blog.
Why are all the spokesperson threads the only place on the entire internet where I actually enjoy every single comment made. There's insight, comedy and an interesting exchange of ideas.
My god this is strange.
As always, love the blog.
Please don't do this to us. I love country music, and I am really white, and I beg you, please please don't do this to us.
If I had a voice, I'd demand a recount (can we have Al too?), but I guess whatever it is that person is speaks for me now.
Wow... I sure loves me some fine cuntry music!
Now where's my sister? That thar music done made me horny.
Thank you! Love seeing all those happy dancing white people.
Judging by youtube Mr. Rich has quite an oeuvre, as we country music fans say.
A crackerjack decision, simply crackerjack.
@ MarkF-Big does indeed support Obama-see here. This is the kind of schism that threatens the whole country.
The time is right for the return of C.S. Lewis, Jr.
As a white person, after watching that, I need to know: where do I sign up for racial-reassignment surgery?
(Cue spooky music.)
I see white people!
I drink Honest Tea because, unlike Snapple, it isn't way too sweet. I guess that makes me an elitist.
I'm sorry, but I have to agree with a lot of the other posters: WTF? I don't have a problem with blowing off the poll results, but I've never even heard of this guy before, let alone recognize any of his songs. I have to think that a clear majority of black people would be able to identify Billy Dee Williams.
Put another way, a Google search for their respective names in quotation marks returns 696,000 results for Williams and only 557,000 for Rich, and a substantial percentage of the hits for Rich (about 20%+, I would estimate) are actually for other people besides the singer, whereas the hits for Williams are almost exclusively about the actor. If you don't want to go with Colbert, Shatner, etc., fine, but the joke is going to be meaningless if the person isn't even recognizable.
Looks like a solid choice, judging by how outraged everyone is. Any good spokesperson for a race has to make everyone s/he represents think 'WTF is that person,' and 'S/he doesn't represent me!'
I'm with you. When everyone was oohing and ahing over the Will.I.Am joint, I wondered if I was taking crazy pills.
But, you gotta love Biz Markie's 'Obama President,' right?
Right?
Is it just me or does this song sound an awful lot like Chuck Berry's "Johnny be Good?" Or is just all fast country music owes a lot to Chuck Berry?