« You gotta hand it to him, when you truly understand it | Main | Great words from cool-ass commenters » Who knows what lies in the hearts of sistagirls...16 Oct 2008 04:38 pm You've all heard about the Michelle Obama whitey tape, the rumors that Obama is a Muslim, that he doesn't say the pledge blahblahblah. But in the secret counsels of Delta and AKAs, in closely guarded meetings of the Links, in the offices of Essence magazine, in book groups where black women ruminate over the deeper meaning of Sula, there is a shadow lurking, a possibility so devious, so menacing, so unholy that it has never been spoken in mixed company--UNTIL NOW. The great fear is that, at some point in this campaign, it would be revealed that Barack Obama was having an affair with--wait for it--a white woman. Since 2004, sisters across the nation have been treated to a great black love story. If Love Jones were on CNN, it would be Barack and Michelle. OK, not really, but I can't think of many other black romantic comedies that are any good. Work with me people. Anyway, sisters everywhere have been caught by the idea that their basketball playing, Harvard educated, smooth talking chocolate brother is just around the corner. Most of them will end up a Leroy, a Dashawn--or a Ta-Nehisi, even. But that isn't the point. With any fantasy there must be some threat, and it's not uncommon, when in the company of four or more black women who happen to be discussing the awesomeness of Barry and Michelle, to hear something like the following, Sistagirl #1: They're so great! And did you see the fist-bump? Sistagirl #2: And did you see his little girls?? Sistagirl #3: I love you Daddy! Awwwww...." And then it comes like shot of venom through honey, Sistagirl #4: He better not be cheating on her with a white girl... All Sistagirls the world-over, in unison: Mmmmhmmm Oh the horror. Oh the humanity. So, for you honeys out there, here is Barack speaking on your deepest fears. May I add that Katie Couric goes there for you. So ya'll need to stop the hate. Also you can just cut it off when McCain comes on. No one cares what he's doing. P.S. Please no comments like "Yes, but Barack IS HALF-WHITE!!" We know this, white folks. It's fear. It's not supposed to be rational. Comments (106)Comments on this entry have been closed. |
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Best post EVAH.
Obama was really struggling to find the words to answer that question. It was like, he wanted to make the point that he would never do anything bad when so many people are watching him, but he didn't want to leave the impression that gee, maybe he would cheat on Michelle if no one was paying attention.
That "rumor" is already out there. Heard he has a thing for blonds. Whatever, just as long as she is not found dead in the oval office...
Dirtysouthsista,
I do not believe that rumor for one second. You must be confusing him for Harold Ford Jr.
My OJ radar is pretty good and it's not there with Barack.
The only rumor that I have even heard is him cheating on Michelle with a black intern which I strongly do not believe but if he had to, that would be far better.
"He better not be cheating on her with a white girl..."
Is it a significant cultural difference that the last 4 words strike me as kinda... well, they weaken the sentence more than if only the first 7 words were there?
Besides, they all have a thing for blondes...Politicians I mean. Hmmm, I think I should go now...
It's interesting, and sad really, that black women specifically worry about whether black men cheat on them with white women. Like cheating is somehow more excusable if it's kept within your race. We white people don't see it this way.
Good god, Asher, your posts are becoming so predictable. You are a smart dude, so stop pretending that you can't see why its different with black women. Also, you are dead wrong if you think white people don't see it the same way. A lot of white guys out there hate the idea of their girl sleeping with a black dude. Just stop.
Actually, I am CONSTANTLY worried that my wife is sleeping with the help. Now I need to pick up my whip, get back in my time machine, and return to 1850.
Shrug. There may well be an extremely vocal 25%-50% of black women who care about this topic. I'm not one of them. I don't care who politicians sleep with white, black, whatever.
I hope that Obama will be an effective and competent President, after the mess of the last 8 years.
I like him and his wife, but they don't represent any kind of "Love Jones" to me. Nearly everyone in my family is married or in a stable relationship, so I have no hunger to see a "perfect black relationship" as entertainment, suitable for public consumption.
What will be, will be.
Damn all this. TC you might want to take a look at this. Its some more racist propaganda from the GOP. This time from a women's group
http://thinkprogress.org/2008/10/16/obama-bucks/
He could start another war, and Sistas would still be with him.
Cheat with a White Woman - we would be GONE.
Coates, this was hilarious.
On point. But, hilarious.
Guilty as charged! My sisters and I, all five of us, have an unusually loud "Black Love" festival when we see B&M. They are so cute and totally into each other. Barack looks at Michelle the way my dad looked at my mom. His "Girl, wait until we get home" gaze just gets you excited and makes millions of black women want a man to want them like that and marry them too.
Black men have also caught the Barack and Michelle bug. My boyfriend squeezes my hand a little harder when we see them together and all of his friends agree that Michelle is one baaad lady and Barack better not ever mess that up! They made fools of themselves last night when Michelle greeted Barack on stage in that blue dress and I got the urge to get a gym membership ASAP. Barack and Michelle are an inspiration for Black men and women in a way that some folks just don't get.
Liza,
Calm down, I'm sure she is locked away in a closet not to be set free until he his well into his 2nd successful term. I know disappointing it may be, but hey Barack is one charming mofo- that's life. I must say, Michelle is the love of his life, their chemistry drips - I've witnessed it. I feel sorry for the "blond" or whomever she is because, she will NEVER get that prize. Michelle and those girls are his breath.
btw- Harold Jr. is a punk azz!!
Yes: the quote from the woman who was circulating the "Obama Bucks" is priceless:
They never "see", do they?
Come on Coates. How do you know that black women all across America think and talk this way? Have you some statistical support for your generalization about what black women talk about? Surely your position is not a generalization based on your experiences and discussions with black women. That wouldn't meet your standards after all.
I just reread this and cracked up some more. The Black Snob swears that a good portion of Barack's ' RIDE OR DIE contingent among Black women is there because of MICHELLE.
I agree with her.
The topic of Michelle becoming First Lady was on the local talk radio station yesterday. Not only was all the panel in tears at some point talking about the possibility, but every female caller was too. The lone Brotha who called in was pleased that Michelle, with all her education and professionalism, hadn't gone ' to the other side', and ' saw a Brotha's po-ten-tial'.
Disappointing to hear about the rumors. I had been heartened, waaaaaay back in the early primary season, to hear a friend of Obama's (can't remember who)state with enormous confidence that one thing we do not have to worry about with Obama is that he'd have any trouble keeping his pants on. It rang true to me. And this is before we knew him to be the cautious politician that he is. I really can't see him being so reckless as to cheat, though, obviously it's not impossible.
And, TNC, you say no one cares what McCain is doing, but his reaction to the question is fascinating in light of the NYTimes article from months back about his possible infidelity. When he says at the end, "I have been an imperfect servant," he means to say that he is flawed and therefore can't condemn other people's indiscretions. But, reading between the lines, (which is admittedly speculative and dangerous,) it sounds like he may be thinking about his own imperfect faithfulness. You could see why he wouldn't want to be on the record strongly condemning infidelity, if he thinks his own faithfulness will come into question.
The Cosby show. He's OK looking, she's gorgeous, they're both accomplished and they're terrific parents to their terrific and photogenic kids.
The crowd at Chris Rock's show seemed to get a kick out his explanation for this phenomenon...black women aren't interested in white men.
Can we blame them? White men are pretty boring comparatively. Well that, and the other obvious comparison...you know.
TNC, first off, I noticed that I felt weird about your making this post in "mixed" company, but it really is so true. One of the things that seals the deal for me is the relationship with Michelle - how he looks at her, is always touching her and relates to her as a full partner.
Hell, it makes me happy that Michelle is black - not like Mariah Carey black or Beyonce black, but everyday milk chocolate black.
Pretty much I've got his back no matter what, EXCEPT if he would cheat on Michelle and G-D FORBID it was with a white woman. I would stop what I was doing and immediately head to Washington DC to make a brotha pay.
It's completely illogical; runs counter to my politics even and is no more rational (or less real) than my visceral fear of lizards. The lizard issue being another reason why Mr. John "TongueJut" McCain would never have my vote btw.
Speaking of a photogenic family:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/16/the-obamas-greatest-famil_n_132339.html
Come on Ta-Nehisi - you know black folks ain't neva said "fist bump". LOL
Riyakh--
Good point. As a black woman I have to second you on that!!
Seriously, while I do think that the 'war' decision would not be embraced as lovingly as you portray, I DO know that we would be OUTTA THERE if he crossed that line.
...for reasons to deep and ancient to be addressed in these comments.
BTW - I have a family member who was just welcomed in out of the cold (winter lasted 3 years or so) for this very same reason.
"Can we blame them? White men are pretty boring comparatively."
I have to admit. This is the first time I've been offended by a commenter on a blog. I don't get offended very easily, if at all, but you've been hanging out with the wrong white dudes. And while a lot of stereotypes are really great shortcuts, I can't stand by while you call white men boring. Maybe the white guys you know...
It is true, but it also very sad.
Absolutely, it would be terrible if the beautiful love story everyone is crazy about were scarred by Obama cheating on Michelle. And absolutely it would be terrible if such a thing would be said about the first Black First Family.
But I wonder how Obama himself would feel about these fears.
Biracial kids, those like Obama, grow up hearing a lot of terrible things said about their mothers from other black people, primarily black women. The fears of Obama cheating with a white woman come from the same place as the fears that lead black women to denigrate a biracial kid's white mother.
You do not lie.
Don't be. It's the kind of rumor that's inevitably going to circulate about him somewhere, be he ever so squeaky clean.
Me, I'll continue to believe he's faithful to Michelle.
Obviously it's not impossible with anyone - Pope JPII could have had a torrid affair with Mother Theresa, for all I know - but I'm thinking not this one.
@Stacy...uh-oh, if you're that offended...
I should make sure my husband isn't looking over my shoulder.
Man, I've been reading from the beginning, but THIS brought me out of lurkerdom. T-NC...you ain't never lied. It makes no sense. I KNOW it makes no sense. But it's so very true.
Thanks for the laugh.
I know you get lots of race-baiting trolls round the Atlantic comments section, and I really really don't want to be one, but this deep-seated fear of black men running off with white women is a combination of racist and pitiful, and it's certainly neither cute nor funny.
One of the comments seems to approvingly mention a family member spending 3 year ostracized because of getting involved someone of the wrong color.
How is that different from some dumb white guy refusing to speak to his sister because "she f*n a n***r"?
Ignorant is ignorant.
Yeah, Tessa, your boring-ass husband is gonna be pissed if he sees that...
I wasn't really offended, obviously, but its kind of personal with me. I'm a white dude. I'm not boring. And I've fallen in love with no less than three black women in my life. They just need to give me a chance. I can dance! I have rhythm! I can dunk a tennis ball! Just give me a chance!!
LOL Stacy. If anything, I'm the boring one. You on the other hand don't sound boring at all. Cheers...
aw, tnc, creating rumors? passing them along just to be provocative? why don't you start a chain email? i have noticed an irrational fear among a few blacks that 'it just can't be true' that a black man can be the president of the usa, that he'll got shot, that there is a skeleton in his closet, a blond white skeleton with big breasts, that...that...that. give it a rest and be gracious in accepting the fact that barack obama is going to be sworn in as president on january 20, 2009. just get your ass out to vote.
oh, and tessa, you have never had the pleasure of getting to know me. most of the hetero guys i know are boring, regardless of color. i don't know why. women are far more interesting and, if you know them long enough, fookin' crazy. that's part of their draw for me.
i haven't been boring since the day i was born.
I'm gay, Hispanic, and yes, mostly boring. But this post and the comments are a lot of fun.
Two things:
Daz: Don't beat around the bush. McCain does not have "imperfect faithfulness." He cheated on his first wife. This question hits closer to home than a rumor or whiff of smoke in the Times. It isn't that he might be cheating on his wife now, it's that he cheated on his wife already and ditched her for a younger, richer, and more able-bodied new wife. It was a long time ago, his ex-wife has forgiven him and he has apologized, so maybe it is old news and not pertinent to the election. But the sub-question of whether either of them would cheat on their wives was not rhetorical for one of them, and it wasn't Obama.
Also, citing the interview you guys missed the important revelation. Obama has stopped picking his nose because people might see. Does this mean he WOULD and HAS picked his nose BEFORE he became a public figure? I wonder if Ayers or Wright taught him to pick his nose? I'll bet they even had secret nose picking parties and attempted to indoctrinate the youth of Chicago into socialist, USA hating, nose-picking ways through grants from the Annenburg foundation. Why won't the press follow up on this??? What are they sweeping under the rug? Why I heard Larry Johnson heard someone say they read on a blog that the RNA had samples of Obama's boogies, and they will release the DNA analysis along with secret elevator security camera footage of him up to his third knuckle and will release it right before the election.
Is it just me, or is Barack looking awfully hot in that video?
Whew.
Good thing he's committed to Michele, or he'd be a mess of scandal with all the women throwing themselves at him.
If I may digress... you know, no one shoot me, but this is a moment I sort of see a bit of McCain I like. He was extremely politic in his answer, but that's actually a very awkward question for McCain, considering his own infidelities. And given that situation, "I cannot judge other people" was a decent response.
Hell, it makes me happy that Michelle is black - not like Mariah Carey black or Beyonce black, but everyday milk chocolate black.
Say it again. I don't think non-Blacks understand or appreciate how much so many in the ' Sisterhood' love Michelle for this reason. Makes my yellow behind grin widely.
A poster on Skeptical Brotha wrote this in Spring of 2007, and I never forgot it:
I joke a lot about these two, but something sticks out at me about the whole campaign. especially after seeing this interview:
I like her. And not because of any strong this and that, she just seems genuine.
Is America ready for a First Lady who looks like her? A regular black woman? Not a passable biracial curly girl that they call black, but a regular black woman from the south side of Chicago? With dark skin?
Is she going to be the face of The Woman on the largest pedestal in the country? A self-confessed “loud-mouth” black woman?
If they succeed, it turns white supremacy upside down. And not, in my opinion, because a black man is in the White House, it’s because a black woman is in there. And she didn’t have to come in the back door to lie in bed with the president.
I've often believed that the attacks on Michelle are because she represents, to paraphrase Chris Matthews, ' all the bad stuff about race' that Barack doesn't.
Mr. Coates,
Doesn't Mr. Obama have the right to be involved with a white girl? (If he were single). What's wrong with that? Why must it be a race issue?
I mean, personally I'm much more attracted to white women (or Latina) then to women of my own race....does that make me a bad person in your book?
Hector,
If you really think TNC is saying that a single black man doesn't have the right to be with a white woman, I suggest you try reading the post again. Everyone is always trying to catch TNC in some obvious double standard where he shows his own racial hang-ups. It was a light-hearted post that made a serious point about Barack and Michelle's appeal. C'mon.
Well, I've been accused of being a cultural traitor before (for converting to Christianity, being attracted to white women, and opposing the Indian Mutiny), so I'm sensitive in that regard.
I feel like in a lot of ways, who Michele is says something about Barack's most private self, and how he sees himself. As his mate and partner and someone he's in love with. And yes, that she's a South Side sister indicates a lot about how Barack sees himself racially.
But also just in terms of what she believes, her earthy groundedness and strength of character, her style. That says a lot about who he is too.
Well, I'm a sista and I don't think sistas ought to be worried about Barack cheating, let alone with a blonde. Like Barack, my brother and me are biracial and were brought up in a white home that did not include our black father. We both married black people and, for both of us, it was a conscious choice I guess you could say. And I believe it probably was that way for Barack too, but of course I can't know for sure. Of course, I married first and foremost for love, but I also wanted to settle down and have a family where I wouldn't have to be the odd woman out. My brother felt the same way. I dated my share of white men, but I always felt like Black men understood me on a deeper level. If he really wanted a white woman, he'd be married to one. I just don't get the Harold Ford "where da white women at!!" vibe from Obama at all.
But as far as cheating goes, I'd be shocked if Barack did something like that. You can feel the love he has for his wife through the tv screen. And yes, you can tell they are still very much having sex and lots of it. The way he's always holding her by the waist and rubbing up on her very lower back in public, my goodness. They both seem very attentive to and proud of each other. Now, when the Edwards stories came out, I immediately believed them. I'm sure he loves his wife too, but their body language is nothing like Michelle and Barack's. Elizabeth always seems in awe of John, like she's lucky to be with him. And I swear, I once saw John pat Elizabeth on the head like a dog! After she introduced him at a town hall, he grabbed the mic and patted her on the head. That just didn't sit well with me and when I heard he was cheating, that kinda made me believe it.
But this is a very gossipy comment but this is also a very gossipy post by TNC, so I don't feel bad about it. LOL
What's this about black women not being interested in pasty faced white guys. As a pasty faced white guy I can tell you that is flatly not true. I've been involved with more than one "sistah" in my reasonably long life. Sure they were only BAP's, but trust me if any of the relationships had lasted long enough for me to introduce them to my family they would have been considered plenty "black".
BAP= Black American Princess
In Chicago such women tend to live in Hyde Park, Pill Hill, or wealthy south suburbs such as Olympia Fields or Flossmoor.
Tessa, as for that "other comparison" you speak of look me up in Chicago sometime.
My response to "once you gone black you never go back" is "once you gone white you know you done right".
ARRRRRRRRRGH
Most of them will end up a Leroy, a Dashawn--or a Ta-Nehisi, even.
So what exactly is the origin or evolution of names like Dashawn, DeShaun, LeSean, and Knowshon? And what does D'Brickashaw mean?
Interesting - I was just thinking about this today. Not specifically about Sen Obama and a white woman, but about the "what if" of a cheating scandal breaking between now and the election. I was deciding whether or not to do early voting, and was considering not doing so because of the what-if of something huge happening between now and then - a scandal, or something worse - making a write-in vote for a different Dem candidate necessary. But I decided by Oct. 16th, anything big enough to make a difference would be too big to really put someone else in place. And just as much as that, I realized I would be hella surprised if Barack was cheating on Michelle. Their body language just says so much. So this morning I went and proudly cast my ballot.
PS I am so sick of Chicago not having "I voted!" stickers. I've never in my life gotten one, and every time I feel disappointed.
P.S. Please no comments like "Yes, but Barack IS HALF-WHITE!!" We know this, white folks. It's fear. It's not supposed to be rational.
I've been reading the site for a while, but this is the first time I've been able to reply (and, go figure, it isn't on one of the more serious posts, either).
Simply: that post-script made my night. Still laughing about it. Thank you for that.
IrishPirate just made me choke on my drink.
BWA HA HA HA AH HA
Can we blame them? White men are pretty boring comparatively. Well that, and the other obvious comparison...you know.
I would be offended, except for the fact that I am kind of boring. I have hit on a handful of black women in my day, most seemed fairly disinterested until last Saturday night. She was a medical student (it is my dream to be a doctor's spouse) and it was going well until her friend started puking.
The only black woman to hit on me was a little crazy. My friend was making a move on her so I didn't want to be accused of C-Blocking. Oh, and I think I was married at the time as well.
Here's an interesting question for yall:
What if Monica Lewinsky were black?
Interesting stuff amigo, but can we at least get a comment on the cowboys/roy williams trade?
What if Monica Lewinsky were black. So a BAP instead of a JAP? Interesting. So instead of trying to talk women into giving me a "Monica" I'd be asking(begging) for a LaQueesha.
Here's an interesting question that I think I can answer. Would Barack Obama be the nominee of the Democratic party if his wife was white?
No, friggin way. It would have hurt him among both white and black voters.
Such is the state of "race" in this country.
A lot of white guys out there hate the idea of their girl sleeping with a black dude.
But that, you'd surely agree, is racist. If I said, "you cheating on me is bad, but you cheating on me with a black dude is REALLY bad," clearly there's something bigoted about that. So why wouldn't the converse be racist too? Well, I guess you could come up with some decent answers. For instance, perhaps black womens' fear of white women is really based on the worry that black men have, you know, bought into the "white is beautiful" messages that the media supposedly sends us and on some kind of subconscious level self-hate, so therefore, cheating with white women = subconsciously buying into racist media messages. Now I'm sure I could've put that in a way that does the argument more justice. All the same, it seems like a lot of logical leaps are going on. Like, say Barack did have a white mistress. Surely he isn't doing so because of some kind of subconscious inferiority complex about his blackness. He doesn't seem much like a subconscious inferiority complex kind of guy. I mean, he more or less chose to adopt a black identity; being black doesn't appear to be something he's ashamed of. Maybe this hypothetical cheating Barack just happens to like white women; maybe it doesn't have anything to do with her being white, and he just liked this woman - who just so happens to be white. Why does it even need to be looked at in racial terms? I just think that some of the more extreme "black men who sleep with white women are traitors to their race" sentiment is totally unjustifiable.
Hold up - dude's half white!??
Adamh,
Football talk tomorrow. There's a lot to talk about.
I'm glad others find humor in this post. I don't. You see, Mr. Coates, I've very recently bookmarked you AND placed your blog on my toolbar. After this post that denigrates and disparages Black women and their "irrational" thoughts and voting sensibilities, I'm finding the "toolbar" placement prescient. In other words? You, sir, are a TOOL. I find this post sooooo offensive because it evidences yet another betrayal of Black women and Black womanhood by a Black man. I LOATHE THIS TYPE OF CHEAP SHOT. But, I'm sure you couldn't care less. You join the ranks of other Black men who get "paid" while happily denigrating and exploiting Black women for others' love and acceptance. You must be so utterly PROUD to join the ranks of such Black women haters (and BTW: Bonin' Black doesn't mean you LIKE or LOVE Black, see slavers, aka Founding Fathers) as Chris Rock (whose recent comedy special was loaded with this toxic dreck) and Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence (who've gotten richer by "portraying" fat, Black, blowhard buffoons). A question: why can't damaged, angry, hateful, insecure Black men just shut the EFF up about Black women??!
In closing, I've followed your work since your Washington City Paper days. Today, I'm horribly disappointed in you. I never would've believed you'd disparage and ridicule Black women the way you have in this post. Glad so many others find it substantive and even funny. I find it a vile betrayal.
To answer my own question:
If Lewinsky were black, I think McCain would be about to win the election against, I don't know, Joe Biden or some other Democratic hack.
If Monica were Monicqua, given the state of race relations in this country, the Senate would have found 17 more votes and thrown Bill out of office. Al Gore would have then been able to distance himself from Bill, would have entered the 2000 election as the incumbent, and woulda defeated Dubya.
9/11 still would have happened. Gore would have shown himself to be tougher than his portrayal; and woulda done Afghanistan. He would NOT have invaded Iraq; though--we'd be better off for that.
Gore would have won re-election in 2004 against Jeb Bush (who inherits the Bush political machine after Ws defeat, and also defeats McCain in the primaries). As there would have been no Iraq War that half the Dems in congress woulda voted for sheep-like, Obama probably wouldn't have dazzled everyone at the 2004 DNC. He'd still be the junior senator from Illinois, and a promising young star in the Democratic Party, but '08 would not be his year.
The housing bubble still would have happened, though not as badly. We still we would be looking at a good recession. Which, after 16 years of Democratic administration, would result in McCain, finally free of Bushes blocking his way, winning the nomination and the Presidency.
The wildcard is Hillary; she might have gotten the 2008 Dem nomination were she to have cut Bill loose back in 1999; otherwise her political career would have been stillborn.
So you see? We're 19 days from electing the first African-American president, just because Monica was a white girl. :)
It's amazing how these things turn out.
"I can't think of many other black romantic comedies that are any good."
Uhh. Love and Basketball. Best Man. Out of Time (Sizzlin! My kinda romantic)
But on point, Barack got the case of the porky pigs on that answer. I know he's careful with all his answers, but damn he needed speech pathologist on that one. Barack is such a symbol of Black Camelot that black women all over would be heartbroken and angry, but prolly expect it any way.
The answer to the question is easy. We're men. NOTHING is more important than having our genes dominate in the next generation. The quickest way to do that is by hitting as much as possible. Even if we are just practicing. :)
"In closing, I've followed your work since your Washington City Paper days. Today, I'm horribly disappointed in you. I never would've believed you'd disparage and ridicule Black women the way you have in this post. Glad so many others find it substantive and even funny. I find it a vile betrayal."
Lever,
It really was a joke. I know it's a sensitive area, but I hope you don't judge the whole blog by one post. I hope you come back. If not, I am sorry we lost you.
T.
For those of you who seem to be unaware that sexiness and beauty comes in different packages, take a visit to The Black Snob's Wall of Sexy. You'll appreciate the rainbow of beauty.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/blacksnob/sets/72157603995600495/
Here's an interesting question that I think I can answer. Would Barack Obama be the nominee of the Democratic party if his wife was white?
Um...NOPE.
Barack Obama wouldn't have even made it to the United States Senate if he had been married to Snowflake.
If he had been married to Beyonce, and she had the same background as Michelle, he would have made it to the Senate, and probably the Presidential run.
But, if he had married a Beyonce that was an ' Our Kind of People', I don't know.
John Henry: We're men. NOTHING is more important than having our genes dominate in the next generation.
You are joking, right?
John Henry: We're men. NOTHING is more important than having our genes dominate in the next generation.You are joking, right?
- KT
Nope, I'm not.
John Henry -
Good to know.
What if Michelle cheated on him? Yes it's lovely to see two equals in love in the political sphere but I wonder ... how would sisters feel if she cheated on him with a white man?
Or how would black men feel?
John Henry: I will just say speak for yourself. Spreading my genes is very low on my priority list.
Well we could go into sexual selection theory. But, its prolly way beyond this topic.
A guy friend and I actually had a semi-serious discussion on who was would be more likely to put Barack on blast--a white baby momma or a Black momma. But I digress. Don't you guys think that if there was another woman, be she Black, white, asian, latina, whatever, we would know by now? Barack is under a 1,000 times more scrutiny just because he's Black. Also, in our fame-whore society don't you think that a woman who slept with the man who might become the first Black president of the United States would be telling the world right about now? I think alot of women would have a hard time keeping that secret. However, if she's smart, she might realize she has more to gain by keeping quiet...sorry, another digression.
Anyway, the fact that we don't know if Barack has a jump-off by now is a good sign.
Well, more relevant than sexual selection theory would be human consciousness and how it changes genetic imperatives. But, yeah, off-topic.
Well, more relevant than sexual selection theory would be human consciousness and how it changes genetic imperatives. But, yeah, off-topic. - KT
Not sure what that means. But, when I stop seeing men rushing to the tv every Sunday to watch two male teams trying to deliver the ball to the goal against the other side inside a huge ovular stadium, maybe I look into your more relevant theory.
iamnotstarjones,
I would be so disappointed. It would be broken hearts everywhere.
I'd ask, ' why, Michelle, why?'
IrishPirate & rikyrah, I agree, Obama would've never made it this far had he married a white woman. It would've been "hateration" all day long, from both sides.
And I'm sure, that on some level, even he was conscious of this fact while climbing the ladder & thinking of his future aspirations, cause he was living with a White chick while he was doing his community organizing in Chicago...
I'm a white dude. I'm not boring. And I've fallen in love with no less than three black women in my life. They just need to give me a chance. I can dance! I have rhythm! I can dunk a tennis ball! Just give me a chance!!
Stacy @6:26pm -- CALL ME! ^____________^
If Barack would give me half a chance, I would wax that ass.
If Michelle would give my husband half a chance, he similarly would do the waxing.
And he had better show me pictures.
TNC,
Please, no football. The Cowboys are toast. This comes from a lifelong Cowboys fan. Their vibe was all wrong before Romo got hurt - not that he was tearing things up anyway - and most everyone has been hanging points on them.
I'm ready to be pleasantly surprised, but I just don't see it. Not this year.
Apologies to all for the digression from a hoot of a thread.
Cheers,
"What if Michelle cheated on him? Yes it's lovely to see two equals in love in the political sphere but I wonder ... how would sisters feel if she cheated on him with a white man?
Or how would black men feel?"
This got me thinking. I may try to do a post on that. I think folks would think it was wrong, but it wouldn't hit with the same force. All communities have their mythologies--the black community has a big one out black men not being men, and black women basically carrying the community's burden. So, I think, if anyone has the right to "check out" (if that's what you'd consider it), it's the sisters.
We white folks have this fear too, though it's obviously less visceral. It would be pretty awful all around.
BUT:
Every time I see or read about the Obamas together, how they treat each other, I actually get a little envious. They have an AMAZING relationship, in ways that aren't really obvious unless you've spent a lot of time thinking about relationships and how they work (and don't work). As long as they maintain that connection, I just... don't see any affairs happening, either way. It's not a conventional political marriage and they aren't conventional people. I really believe that they will dramatically defy conventional expectations for a very long time.
I'm sorry, and I anticipate a lightning bolt from the FSM to smite me any second now, but my initial thought on this is that somewhere, Cleavon Little is smiling.
"And I'm sure, that on some level, even he was conscious of this fact while climbing the ladder & thinking of his future aspirations, cause he was living with a White chick while he was doing his community organizing in Chicago..."
flygyrl72 raises a point that i've thought about myself...what if this is a marriage of political convenience? what if he married michelle knowing that it would be benefit him politically if he married Black rather than white? Isn't that a horrible thing? I truly hope that love and not political gain was his motive.
TNC,
For some perspective -- all of us white guys have to deal with our wives/girlfriends melting when Obama is on TV. Do you think it's coincidence that during debates when he's on screen on CNN the ratings by women jump?
@Chris
I noticed that during the debates. I think we know the answer to the question "where all the white women at?". They seem to be with Barry all the way. People always ask about the race factor, but no one ever talks about the beauty factor.
Would Barack be were he is if he were ugly? Would he be as charming if he didn't have that beautiful smile? Even those big old Dumbo ears are endearing. The fact that he and his family are beautiful helps him in ways that I don't think could ever be measured. Many people will overcome prejudice or bias in favor of one of our most basic instincts: appreciating physical attractiveness.
When it's all said and done hot is hot! And hot always helps more than it hurts.
You might want to write about that too TNC.
You know, I've been sitting back, hoping Tessa would be corrected by a response from some beautiful black woman, married to a brilliant, exciting, well-endowed white guy.
Unfortunately, my wife's not into blogs.
mom: i don't like michelle
dad: you're just jealous.
mom: whatever
dad: don't be, though. you already got yourself a fine yellow brother.
LOLZ
@Emma -- absolutely! Beyond even beauty, though, is his exceptional charisma. He's so charming you feel compelled to like him (never mind that he seems brilliant in terms of policy). If the President is really the avatar of the American public it's no wonder we want to elect him.
what if he married michelle knowing that it would be benefit him politically if he married Black rather than white?
dcgatn -
What if he tried to hire a hit man to get rid of an old girlfriend? What if he helped the Taliban assassinate Ahmed Shah Massoud? What if he covertly weakened the levees before Katrina hit? What if he paid Steve Bartman to reach for that pop-up?
You've been listening to the right-wing shriekers for too long. I have seen more right-wing speculation about the most ridiculous and insane things than I would hope to see in five lifetimes, never mind what they've done in this one. If you listen to them long enough, you'd almost believe that electing any Democrat, any time, any place, would bring about the End Times.
That would certainly be The October Surprise!
87 comments? Damn, I don't know why you even openend this can of worms. As a 30 something black woman, I must say this line is comedic genious: "Anyway, sisters everywhere have been caught by the idea that their basketball playing, Harvard educated, smooth talking chocolate brother is just around the corner. Most of them will end up a Leroy, a Dashawn--or a Ta-Nehisi, even." Reality check!
For those of you who've seen the new Chris Rock comedy special on HBO where he explains interracial dating, he wasn't lying.
"It's interesting, and sad really, that black women specifically worry about whether black men cheat on them with white women. Like cheating is somehow more excusable if it's kept within your race. We white people don't see it this way."
Oh, right, Asher. One word for you. Asher.
"Shiksa"
And stop presuming to speak for white people. We can speak for ourselves. Though we do appreciate the help, so I take back that last.
"After this post that denigrates and disparages Black women and their "irrational" thoughts and voting sensibilities, I'm finding the "toolbar" placement prescient. In other words? You, sir, are a TOOL."
Posted by someone calling him/herself "Lever" calling TNC a "tool."
Well, I guess it takes one to know one.
"In closing, I've followed your work since your Washington City Paper days. Today, I'm horribly disappointed in you. I never would've believed you'd disparage and ridicule Black women the way you have in this post. Glad so many others find it substantive and even funny. I find it a vile betrayal. "
Correction - this must be a "herself" The bitch-ass flouncing out of the room, you-naughty-little-boy-I-am-so-offended! stunt is a dead give-away.
hi dis is shot out but i like it tho...........
for the record, i much preferred love & basketball on the black love story tip. the only thing i really remember from love jones was that "love conquers all" scene at the end when the happy couple kissed in the pouring rain... i have dreds and i've still never felt a love strong enuff that would keep this sistagirl standing out in the rain!
Lots of comments above concern women (of whatever race) swooning over Barack.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the ticket... there seem to be a sizable contingent of white Republican men who think that Sarah Palin is a hottie. (And Palin is the first candidate for major office that I've seen in my lifetime who actively flirts with the audience from the podium). She doesn't float my boat in the slightest, but to each his own, I suppose.
Taking a step back from the racial politics, this appears to be an election where sex appeal matters. A not-insignificant faction of the electorate may be voting with their loins. This, folks, is unprecedented in presidential politics--if for no other reason than most elections are contested between an ugly old white dude on the right, and an ugly old white dude on the left. Nobody would describe Dubya, Kerry, Gore, Clinton, Dole, H.W., Perot, Reagan, Mondale, Carter, Anderson, Ford, Nixon, McGovern, LBJ, or Goldwater as hotties--we have to go back to JFK to find the last US president who was even remotely hot.
I'm not sure this is a good thing for US politics. The diversity is certainly good--but I don't think that sex appeal or attractiveness is a good way to decide who to vote for--politics has long been one place where you can be fat and/or ugly and still do well; I'd hate to see it go the way of American Idol.
My wife and I are both voting for Barack on the issues. Neither of us cares one whit about his race or his appearance.
@EngineerScotty: Actually, some have seen sex appeal in Clinton, apparently a triumph of personal charm over unexceptional appearance.
In general, though, yeah, in most elections both nominations have been held by not particularly attractive old men. Sometimes not even all that eloquent unattractive old men.
I dunno -- back in 1992, I heard more older black women than I could possibly understand, including my mom, wax eloquent about the hotness of Bill Clinton. (And no, I don't get it.)
My mother heard "Rhodes Scholar" and swooned. Maybe it was a rose-colored-glasses thing.
On Bill Clinton's hotness:
perhaps that big old nose signified something about the man. Think the old big feet line.
I think it was just the power of the Presidency. Put him behind the counter at Burger Whop and I doubt many women would find him that sexy.
Lever,
calm down. If you can't get the joke then you are missing out on laughing at oneself. Which is one of the true gifts that the Almighty has given us.
You sound like the Republican "tools" who are critical of any conservative who dares question the wisdom of McCain picking that "light of the North" Sarah Palin to be one heartbeat away from his 72 year old and counting, cancer ridden Presidency....if it happens.
The truth is T-Bone was correct about the perspective of some black women. If you doubt that talk or sleep with a few. I have.
He is not a "race traitor" for printing the truth in an amusing way. The first duty of a commentator is to "truth". The second is to be interesting. The third is to be funny.
There is nothing in those "duties" about trying to please everyone and offend no one. It can't be done.
Well let's face it, any couple who've been married for damn near 15 years, like MO and BO have, have more than likely tripped over (or at least tiptoed around) the infidelity stick a time or two.
But if I may get a little more mileage out of your Love Jones metaphor Ta-Nehisi, I look to the soon-to-be First Couple as a shining example of one of my favorite lines from the movie:
"All of these people running around here jumping, skipping, falling in love... falling in love ain't shit. Somebody talk to me, PLEASE, about how to stay there."
OK, serious continuation of the "John the prophet" thread discussion on dating and interracial marriage, since TNC directed that elsewhere.
Here's how I see it: Fine for people to date whatever race they darn well please. Not so fine for people to raise objections to other people dating and marrying outside their race, but doesn't bug me in this thread, because it was a hypothetical about Obama cheating on Michelle, and I think he'd deserve anything the sistahgirls might want to dole out to him for that.
And, to those who say cheating is cheating, well, sure it is, but if it had been Edwards the candidate now, displaying the oh so loving relationship with Elizabeth, and if he hadn't already been caught cheating, and if it were a bunch of white women talking about how he'd better not cheat on her, don't you think they'd have a particular type of woman in mind? Young, pretty, maybe blonde, definitely thin? The next trophy wife, or at any rate the trophy mistress?
And, FWIW, Obama cheating would surprise me more than Edwards did, just because I get less of that vibe from him. Though, sure, anyone married a long time, man or woman, could be tempted.
On to what bothered me in the other thread.
Endogamy's OK with me, at least some sorts. If nothing else, a Jew who's shomer shabat and who keeps strict kosher is going to want to marry someone who can live by those rules. Similar deal for other religious requirements that impinge on people's daily lives.
Dating without marriage in mind, also OK, to a degree. If nothing else, lots of people dating aren't old enough to be thinking about marriage yet. And some aren't marriage ready for other reasons. And maybe you might eventually marry the person you met in high school, but, where I was raised, you weren't exactly thinking marriage would be soon, at that age, and probably you'd have long since broken up.
But having a whole racial or ethnic group that you consider dating but not marriage material, very much not OK. And if Asher's right, in the other thread, that lots of white men do that with black women, not OK with me.
If a guy of any race wanted to date me, when I was single, or if I wanted to date him, there were lots of things I might be insecure about. I certainly wouldn't assume, right from the start, that he'd have marriage remotely in mind. I might be afraid the guy I liked would never like me, or that the guy who was pursuing me only wanted me for a fling, or whatever. But I never, whatever the race of the guy, would have even considered thinking that he had me pegged as just fling material because I was white. That's not something I'd assume, and I'd be really pissed off if I found out later that was the case.
So, not OK to do to black women, either. So, really pissed off if someone dates black women, and considers them in advance not to be marriageable, because they're black. And, if they do that, they'd darn well better be letting their dates know they're not in the marriagable class. So that anyone who feels like me can bug out.
So basically, Lynn, I'm 23, headed off to law school, not getting married for quite a few years. Or in other words, not wanting to commit myself before I get around to reaping the side benefits of being a wealthy, handsome attorney. (Feel free to interject and tell me what a douche I am any minute now.) Now, whoever I marry will ultimately be Jewish, because (1) there's just a certain Jewish sense of humor, lifestyle, experiences, whatever, that I wouldn't have in common with a Gentile, or goy as my grandparents would've called her in Yiddish, and (2) it would really make me physically ill to ever have to go in a church with my kids and listen to the minister talk about Jesus, or to have any kind of Christian stuff going on in my wedding ceremony, or to have a bunch of Christian in-laws, or etc. etc. etc. However, it does not follow that I'm particularly attracted to Jewish women or care to only date Jewish women. But in advance, yeah, any non-Jew isn't too marriageable, and a black non-Jew is probably a little less so
Ten years ago when my beautiful AA daughter was in the 10th grade at a private school in LA, I came home from work to find her in tears in her bedroom. She was distressed because most or all of the Black boys at school seemed to be enthralled with White or light skinned Black girls (my daughter's complexion looks a lot like Michelle Obama's). We talked. At first she told me I couldn't possibly understand what she was feeling because my skin was lighter than hers. That was the moment I really, really understood how effective anti-Black racism still is in this country.
Asher just expressed the fear that lies in the heart of every black woman like me, who dates outside her race, and articulated why so many black women I know won't date non-black men.
I cant imagine how hurt I would be if I felt that any of my exes saw me as some "African experience" instead of a real person.
IMO, if you go into a relationship with anyone knowing that for some reason or another you would never marry them, then you don't see them as your equal. Culture is kind of a lame excuse- if you love someone that stuff really does not matter. If you feel it would be prohibitive, it says more about you than about your culture.
Definitely food for thought, and something that will be on my mind next time some white dude asks me out.
Also- lever has a point.
I know this was a joking post, but it's kind of difficult to see it as funny when it just repeats a meme and a set of stereotypes that I see all the time.
I'm an AKA, and I can say that when I have gathered with black Greeks and the Obamas are discussed, this topic has never, not ever come up. We are too focused on getting them into the white house to drag this nonsense into it.
T Harris,
I always run a risk when I tell a joke like this. I hope you won't stop reading the blog, though. I value all my readers--but especially my AKAs. Pink and green runs in the family.
I wouldn't stop reading the blog- how many black bloggers talk politics and comics at the same time?
I can't hate on that.
I was just not a big fan of the joke.
@ anna perez
I have often wondered if Barack would have deemed Michelle "good enough" because of her dark skin if he had grown up in the AA community and had the same kind of preference for light skin/long hair drilled into him by other black folks. White beauty standards may be the historical source of our colorism, but we are engaging in self-inflicted wounds at this point. Your daughter was probably dealing with boys who wanted the kinds of girls in hip-hop vidoes. When I see a dark skinned girl in a music video it still catches my attention.
I think Barack had time to figure it out for himself, because he says in his first book that he saw his Kenyan sister for the first time like a wood rose. He had just broken up with his college girl friend who came from an old Dutch-WASP family with 17th century roots in New York State. He was also able to see, from being in Africa, that in America, hardly anyone is really purely black, including Michelle. I love that he pointed that out about her in his 'A More Perfect Union' speech and made people cringe-- for the right reasons, for once. Of course, here in America, hardly anybody isn't mixed to some degree, compared to across the water, even if it's just Northen European mixed with Mediterranean, or, say part Jewish and part Asian. That's a big part of what this election is about.