I discovered cucumber sandwiches when I was 10 years old, and first read "The Importance of Being Earnest." They are being served--and extolled--in the opening scene, and I loved that play so much I wanted to eat like it.

Here's the thing about cucumber sandwiches: crunchy
cool
mayo.

The best thing, really, that ever happened to mayo, which I otherwise use, like, once a year.

There's your problem Karen.

Good to know.

Togetherness!

Good to know.

Togetherness!"

Did you not read what I wrote? Togetherness? This is all about promoting segregation. How could you have missed that?

Also, is that the original, or the Premo remix? (And who would've thought the producer who made the original, AND Ether, would now be doing Indian snake charmered out T-Pain*?) My Mozilla has issues with Youtube.

* See 'Pop Champagne' and 'Arab Money.'

My white-cred is off the charts too. Consider:

- I've gone cow-tipping
- I think the electric guitar is one of the
greatest inventions ever
- I used to love keg parties - at least the parts I
can remember

Steve Sailer? No glossary.

And I sure as hell have never eaten a cucumber sandwich.

I suggest that you find a teen-aged American, of any background, to do the first round of translation. My kids are having a great time throwing me lifelines as I read.

They're also convincing me that I'm the one way out of the mainstream on this.

Especially, they're pleased that I got at least half of the joke when the college kid from down the street changed his Facebook status to "I've got ninety-five theses and the pope ain't one."

All I see there when I read is you dismissing someone for being curious about a culture different than his own.
Did this guy ever personally tell you to "figure it out" when he wrote something?

The way people figure out how to get along with other cultures is, you know, talking to them. Asking questions.

Nah, I was more of a "Quarters" and "Asshole" guy myself. Too uncoordinated for beer pong.

You must be new here. Its a JOKE. Lighten up.

Hugs and Kisses,
Stacy

British, eh? That would explain such a nasty creation...

My grandmother was English and all I can say is, "what the hell is wrong with us when it comes to food?!!!!"

oh people have already beaten me to the punch. oh well i add my voice to the chorus.

AlexG, good suggestion. that was cool as hell
-sv

If African-Americans from *THIS* part of the country end up in a conversation with African-Americans from *THAT* part of the country, all y'all drop a good 30% of your regionalisms pretty quick, right?

I mean, that's what *WE* do. All y'all do that too, right?

/had to Google, too
//Don't mind.

That being said, I'm off to happy hour. By myself.

One.

Though there are some pretty kick-ass glossaries out there.

Or not.

P.S. I had a keg at a party last New Year's Eve and all my black friends enjoyed the party, and the beer.

Sir, that depends on your homies. I call my baby "baby" because she likes it. If she didn't I'd likely stop.

Have a good weekend people. Peace.

On that note, R.I.P. hip hop too.

p.s. cucumber sandwiches? you really did grow up in west bmore

She says it's "poverty food," what a group had to eat in the hard times, found ways to tolerate, and ended up associating with family and home. Thus, pickled chickens' feet are offered as part of dim sum, and grits are still served at Bob Evans, and cucumber sandwiches count as part of a tea party. Ever tried head cheese?

Grandma also said that no one needs a translation to understand steak or strawberries, because those are just objectively good.

Yours, a whitebread Canadian.

No, no it really isn't.

Could we have a hip hop open thread some time? I'd love to know what i should be listening to, old and new.

I only stumbled on elzhi by accident, and it hurts to think that there might be more out there that I'm missing.

John Clease of Monty Python fame was on the Daily Show years ago when he got asked that question. His response?

"My dear boy.....we had an empire to run, we didn't have the time". (To come up with good food I guess.)

In other news, I've had both cucumber sandwiches and collard greens. I much prefer collard greens. I was actually a bit upset that they were so good, I'm like, where the hell have these been my entire life?

"son they shook...there's no such thing as half-way crooks..."

Cucumber sandwiches are tasty in small doses because cucumbers taste good. But only in small doses because white bread isn't all that great, and mayo doesn't really improve it. Bagels really easily beat cucumber sandwiches, as does pita bread and falafel.

Keg parties actually aren't any fun, in my book.

Don't ask me to explain cow tipping - wrong part of the country for that.

On GG: sure, the particular way Gatsby burns his torch for Daisy is pretty upper-class white. But the idea of a man loving a woman past the point he ought to -- that cuts across all classes and cultures, does it not? I mean, Gabriel Garcia Marquez' "Love in the Time of Cholera" is the same basic story, except different people die.

I'm Irish. The British are MY "white," if you know what I mean.

idk how i almost missed out on the elzhi record. i could never get into slum village that much after dilla (r.i.p), so i kinda wasn't checking for him.

what are you listenin too thats newish thats good?

recently i've been listening to invincible and the new cunninlynguists

or old stuff works too. let's do this:

if i had to listen to one Boot camp record, which one should i go for? or do you know jeru's albums well? i've just listened to a song or tw here and there and never been able to get into it. what should i listen to? maybe i'm just listening to the wrong stuff of his?

thx again.

Now for those of you who are uninitiated I will introduce you to the whites piece of video ever:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uLeYBYn_oE

Between eating Halloween candy before the shorties start showing up in 45 minutes and thinking about Sarah Palin naked with a gun I can't even type correctly.

Noticed I said "shorties". See I have lotsa street cred for somebody paler than Wonder Bread.

I do. My first-generation Irish-American father really knew. And my grandfather’s brother, my great-uncle Mike, was I.R.A., so he really, really knew.

I forget which African-American entertainer said that he was shocked to learn that there were actually different groups of white people that hated each other.

true. i can confirm that white people like strange costumes, bag pipes and standing around awkwardly.

@bruce & patagonia

get it started

Now I just watched that and have to say:

THAT's the original ante-up? My whole life I've been listening to a Funkmaster Flex remix of it thinking it was the original. I had no idea i'd never heard the original.

Both equally awesome tho.

LOL

Cow-tipping - I must ask....what is the joy in that?

I'm not an animal rights activist by any means, but doesn't it hurt the cow?

BTW, Coates, I love those kinds of posts, because it's like going back to childhood. I usually go, ' Yeah, I did that too.' or ' Damn, I forgot all about that'.

If you do make the trip, you definitely have to report back to us, though.

I'm not sure which side of the segregation line affinity for Italianate herbs puts me on, but I'll take my mud people sammiches over the wan British version any day.

You know what else is really good? Top-quality bread with olive oil and persillade. Won't do your breath any favors, but it tastes fantastic, and all the garlic and parsley is very good for you.

"The Zulus," offers the first. "The Zulus are the bravest fighting. A company of Zulus is worth a battalion of any other men.

"No, the Gurkhas are the best fighting men," offers the second. "They'll happily die to the last man. I'd take a platoon of Gurkhas over a company of Zulus."

The third takes a long drag on his pipe, and then begins, "The Zulu and the Gurkha are brave warriors both, of that there's no doubt. But if you want the most courageous, most dependable, hardest and hardiest fighters, if you want to win in battle, you can't beat the Irish – with white officers of course!"

I totally had this experience as a young teen (as did my mom, before my time, when she first worked with a man with a number tattoed on his arm. Experience is really...eye opening).

My Caribbean butt Googles plenty of stuff to keep up with this blog. It's plenty of fun and no shame.

I did almost go cow-tipping once. Or was that a snipe hunt? (Not my fault! I was an innocent in the hands of rural Massachusetts people who wanted to torment me for living too close to the Mets. :-D)

Quickly translating Baltimore bits like: "I met her on a humble."

In Paris you mainly find French food. It's good and all, but I'm kinda bored now (except for pastries- just discovered profiteroles- and croque monsieurs).

Go East my people, and observe the wide variety of white folks and how much they beef. Listening to a Brit talk about the Polish opened my eyes. Or, you know, go to Arizona and watch the hippies hate on the retirees who hate on the farmers who hate on everyone who wasn't born there.

I hated Gatsby in high school cuz it just seemed triflin'. Maybe I missed something.

Since then every job I've had with lots of "American white people," I was totally clueless about many of their cultural references. They didn't gently welcome me in, they were sarcastic and derisive about the things I didn't know.

I too wish you'd refrain from "sheeeeeeeeeeeeet".

Because as soon as I see that, I hear all your posts being read aloud by one Clay Davis, corrupt politician par excellence from "The Wire".

And sheeeeeeeeeeeeet, no one wants that.

does obama seem befuddled? michelle?

you are speaking about yourself. had you graduated from yale or swarthmore you wouldn't say this kind of nonsense.

Yeah you're right. Apologies. Detroit just has too much good music coming out right now to mention it all, but I should've at least mentioned Black Milk. First heard his beats on Pharoahe Monch "desire" and said to myself "goddamn."

Also: I love mayo, but collards beat mayo.

thanks for the tip. I'll let you know how THAT works out.

In defense of keg parties, I second Tessa. Frat boys have given them a bad name. So have people who cheap out on what kind of beer they buy and end up with a half barrel of Schlitz.

Given in the spirit of promoting understanding in TNC's comments section. Back to lurking.

In the late 30s my father lit out for the territories and joined the CCC putting in rail track across the Southwest -- he knew that nothing there could be any harder than the work his father would put him to if the stayed home. My father and uncle say that during WW2 (they both served in the South Pacific) it was common for soldiers to engage in "my family was so poor that...." contests, and "my family was so poor that we sharecropped land that belonged to a black man" would trump most anything else.

It's a big old complicated world. I enjoy the blog, Ta, best of luck with whatever follows.

When Gatsby's father shows up for the funeral, he says, "My name is Gatz. James Gatz." Daisy was Gatsby's upper class WASP dream girl -- even though the bum she married was merely an upper middle class brute. Gatsby needs Daisy in order to realize the dream. He thinks it's all about the house and the parties and the cars and that the girl will complete it for him. The truth is that she won't. But because he's nouveau riche he's never going to understand that (or why she'd never be with him).

I just found out what "skeet" meant, and so far it seems no other white people do, so I've been amusing myself walking around randomly interjecting, "skeet, skeet" lil john style into my conversations.

We should have TNC Meetups.

Hands down, all of you are the coolest people ever.

I mean, who wouldn't want to have a lively conversation like this (and other things) over a beer?

Anyone for Baltimore/DC?