Can we stop with the "cucumber sandwiches" bit? I have never had a cucumber sandwich, and I don't know anyone who has.From KarenZ:
I have kept silent in the past, but now I must object to this campaign by some African Americans to demonize cucumber sandwiches. I'm as white as they come, and I find the taste of cucumbers disgusting. But I feel honor bound to defend this vegetable from the attacks of certain radical black ideologues.
This unjustified savaging of an innocent vegetable -- which was first cultivated by brown-skinned people in India -- is particularly ironic, given that the cucumber is a member of the same family (Cucurbitaceae) as the watermelon.
From DougEMI:
White people, I have heard your message loud and clear. This blog has been insensitive and inconsiderate. In as much as it dismisses the lighter races as Coldplay-listening, cucumber sandwich-eating dilettantes, this blog has been grossly unfair. For nearly 400 days, it has repeatedly subjected whites to some of the worst verbal oppression every experienced in all the history of internets.I feel like I am selling out my people because I have never had a cucumber sandwich. I would assume you use mayo instead of miracle whip to make more WASPy.
I am determined to get cucumbers next time I go shopping
We have held up the beauty of obscure figures like Nia Long and Nona Gaye, while ignoring Nicole Kidman. We have marveled at the artistry of MF Doom, while offering nary a mention of Eminem. We have tried to see the world from the perspective of black homophobes, while offering no quarter to white homophobes. Why are their so many Chris Rock jokes?? What about Seinfeld?? What does it matter the color of a homophobe. Are they not all worthy of quarter??
Now is the time to free white people from the shackles of the neo-colonial, fascist, Gestapo black blogesphere. I dedicate the rest of my life, and the rest of this blogs life, toward ending Black Skin Privilege, toward bringing the races together, toward harmony, and fried chicken and congac for everyone. Black Supremacy is the enemy. Say it with me white folks, "You are. Somebody."
And now for a word from your spokesman...
The Beautiful Struggle: A Father, Two Sons, and an Unlikely Road to Manhood 
I love you TNC.
And I'm a straight, white dude.
They made a country song and a video about McCain being a POW. WOW. Just.....WOW
T-NC: I believe the same words are etched onto the Lincoln Memorial :-p
Thank you, TNC!
Do you know until I started reading your blog I didn't even know there was such a thing as white people's music?
Now, I've started listening to it, and I'm so happy to find out that pale folks like myself can also be musical.
I love you too Mike! And I'm not afraid to tell the world!11!
"And now for a word from your spokesman..."
Aww, man, that's just mean.
I consider myself an upper-middleclass, progressive White, therefore I exclusively stir-fry my cucumbers - preferably as part of an ethnic dish.
Free fried chicken and cognac?! Shit yeah! I knew reading this blog would pay off someday. I just thought it was going pay off by helping my find my black wife. But I'll take chicken and cognac.
"bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb iran...
bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb iran...
oh bomb iraaaan, won't you take a staaaand...
there'll be trouble controllin' but fuckit let's keep rollin'...bomb iran....bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb iran"...
"and fried chicken and"
That last one always bugs me. It is the worst stereotype in the history of stereotypes. It isn't because black people don't like fried chicken, oh they do. It's that EVERYBODY likes fried chicken. It is like if I said that Chinese people don't like being poked in the eye with a sharp pointed stick. It's perfectly true but alot more common amongst the human race than the statement lets on. I can't stand lazy stereotypes. At least cucumber sandwiches (are they any good by the way?) has a bit of origonality to it.
Yes we can. Yes we can. On a different note if in the spirit of multi-cultralism we have to sit around a fire singing norwegian sagas and eating lutefisk I'm out.
I love this blog, it's consistent like a good beer. Better yet it's like watching a great your favorite band at your favorite bar with no cover.
Sweetness.
I still cannot believe you did this to us.
grumble grumble grumble
Not even a good country singer!
grumble grumble grumble
It is like if I said that Chinese people don't like being poked in the eye with a sharp pointed stick.
I believe it was Mao who said that true power comes from being stuck in the eye with a pointed stick.
Wait just a goddamn minute. What does this mean?
Did she try to make incorporate the stereotype of black folks and watermelons into this discussion? And how did I miss this the first time? Sheesh I am slipping
I'm done that last post should read:
I love this blog, it's consistent like a good beer. Better yet it's like watching your favorite band at your favorite bar with no cover.
TNC what's with the opression? We White people just shrugged off the bonds of slavery and gained ourselves an official spokesperson. We need an official food too.
One food to rule them all one food to give them heartburn, one food to school them all and in the darkness learn them.
If only cucumbers were "authentic" ethnic cuisine, the so-called white man would eat them and be proud. The Honorable Pat Buchanan teaches us that we have been hoodwinked into thinking our foods aren't "interesting," or "flavorful." That we are "bland" or "boring." Look up "white bread" in the dictionary-- "plain," "ordinary." These are lies foisted upon the so-called white man. The reality is bread is wondrous. Yes sir!! It truly is [crowd cheering] a WONDER BREAD! YES SIR! Praise be to John Denver!
I had no idea that your reference to cucumber sandwiches was controversial. They were a favorite of the ladies in the waspy neighborhood I grew up in. I offer a recipie for your readers who have never experienced this delight.
1. Peel several cucumbers and slice into quarters.
2. Cut out the seedy pulp.
3. Grate the cucumbers.
4. Chop an onion.
5. Mix the grated cucumber and onion.
6. Add salt an pepper to taste.
7. Spread on white bread with or without mayonayse to taste.
8. Cut off crust and slice sandwiches in to quaters diagonaly.
9. Serve.
Keep doing what you are doing and ignore the complaints.
Real White People would never eat cucumber sandwiches! BTW make fun of John Rich all you want but he did write the newest American Classic Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.
Pass the hot sauce! I got a plate full of dead animals waiting to be eaten.
@Tom c
I do believe I take the bougie crown here because I have indeed had a cucumber sandwich (afternoon tea at the Drake hotel baby!), and they're very good. A sort of refreshing and light finger food. Just to be clear, though, you gots to cut the crust off!
Yeah, I didn't realize the whole white people/cucumber thing until I moved out East (Virginia to be exact). This is a hold-over from a very small group of WASP-Y whites mainly of English descent. They're the same blue blood, country-club attending, sport jackets with family crest-wearing, provincial butt-wipes that give the entire East Coast a bad name.
Thankfully, their numbers decrease with every year.
No fair making me spray milk out my nose while at work.
Now shut up and give me my damn sandwich.
What's with americans and cutting off the crust of white bread?? Is it only restricted to white americans? or americans at all? I live in sweden, and the people of the pickled herring don't seem to have this tradition down...what gives??
Tom C - They're not bad. Very mild, and they make you a bit gassy, but I like them.
Fried chicken is stereotyped as Black Food in the US because it's a classic peasant-food. Cheap, easy to make, and filling. Drop the mayo from a cucumber sandwich (It's the only part that needs expensive refrigeration) and people would think of it as a peasant dish as well.
The Atlantic likes to employ many of these people, but I won't say who, lest I run afoul of Ta-Nehisi's comments policy.
Does this mean that on every December 9th, all white people should eat a cucumber sandwich to symbolize our long march towards freedom.
I just hope they don't find out about fried baloney.
They can Take away our Lives but never our cucumber sandwiches.
*Sigh* That would be "spokesperson" TNC.
You're never going to get this figured out, are you?
Well, he got shot down in a Vietnam town
Fighting for the Red, White and Blue
But he got shot down by the people he was bombing, right? I'd never heard of cucumber sandwiches before this blog. I thought it was a joke. What the heck: why not broccoli sandwiches or squash sandwiches?
Bruce
One removes the crust so that the resulting sandwich is of a uniform consistancy. The only places I see this done is with finger-sandwiches and by picky children. PB&J with no crust is the preschool sandwich of choice.
My only regret is that I have but one cucumber sandwich to give for my county.
Fourscore and seven years ago our forefathers brought forth upon this continent a new sandwich concieved upon a cucumber, surrounded by mayo, and overgirded by bread without the crust.
Totally true -- peasant foods get completely stereotyped, especially southern peasant foods. Also totally true that the stereotype is stupid because everybody likes these foods. I have yet to find anyone who, once exposed to them, doesn't like fried chicken, fried catfish, ribs, or homemade mac and cheese. They might be agnostic about grits, greens or okra, but not when they're cooked well -- seriously.
There's also nothing bad about cucumber sandwiches. They're simple (and you can make them with mayo or butter), and a nice light snack. But I can see why they're classed as prissy (as opposed to peasant) food -- they're not exactly what you'd chow down on before (or after) going out to do a hard day's work. Peasant food's usually about getting the best caloric bang for your buck. A cucumber sandwich, on the other hand, probably has less calories to it than you'd get from just looking at a plate of fried chicken.
From my understanding the stereotype of african americans and fried chicken, let alone watermelon, comes from black migration north. I never understood the stereotype because my family has pictures from the 30s with everyone eating watermelon. Its basically an anti southern stereotype that got transmuted into an anti black stereotype. Or the other way around. In american history it doesn't seem to have taken much to turn anything into an anti black stereotype.
You've got a point about Nia Long and Nona Gaye. They're way hotter than Nicole Kidman.
Just saying, if "Australia" had cast Saana Lathan opposite Hugh Jackman, it might have been a better movie.
Too funny TNC.
Yes, it's time we made things a bit more comfortable for white folks around here.
Boo on you clowning cucumber sandwiches! Nobody has said anything about some Black folks' love for hot sauce sandwiches or fried bologna sammiches, have they?
Thank our lucky stars!
Oh and Karen Z was wildin' a little bit with,
"This unjustified savaging of an innocent vegetable -- which was first cultivated by brown-skinned people in India -- is particularly ironic, given that the cucumber is a member of the same family (Cucurbitaceae) as the watermelon."
Hilarisad!
Cucumbers, no.
Mayo, hell yeah.
That McCain huckster reminds me of the funniest thing I ever saw at an NBA halftime show.
Cowboy Troy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I02krzhxSsk
I'm a white American and I've never understood it either, but then my grandmother would have thumped me for wasting food if I even dreamed of removing crusts. She believed it made you a sinful ingrate to waste food when God had blessed you with plenty. She'd feed you all you wanted, but if you failed to eat what you put on your plate there was hell to pay. She passed 20 years ago, and I still always clean my plate even at restaurants.
TNC, if you're going to rag on white peoples' dietary preferences, get it right. Stereotypical white food involves taking a nice cut of meat, rolling it in salt, leaving it in the basement for a season or two then boiling the shit out of it with some potatoes
TNC, if you're going to rag on white peoples' dietary preferences, get it right. Stereotypical white food involves taking a nice cut of meat, rolling it in salt, leaving it in the basement for a season or two then boiling the shit out of it with some potatoes
I didn't realize it was physical and existentially possible for a country to write comments. Is that you Ireland?
If it helps people get their cultural bearings, cucumber sandwiches feature heavily in the opening act of Oscar Wilde's "The Important of Being Ernest".
@Larry Greater
thanx for clearing that up...PB&J was one of my favourite late afternoon snacks when i was a kid too...however, i kept the crust...then again, i was never that picky with food.
as for the watermelon, chicken & grits...i don't know about the stereotypes...i just know, i grew up on watermelon and chicken and the persian version of corn-based porridge...as for the grits...most cultures has some variety of carbo-hydrate-based porridge...most of them hail from lower than average households...middle easterners and europeans use wheat...americans use corn...probably because their agricultural economies historically where based on those items. Anyway...i fully agree that chicken (and probably watermelons where available) are liked by almost everyone, and that the stereotypes are just ridiculous...the cucumber sandwiches, which i'm dying to try...is another way of saying that, white culture, is very plain, compared to the *spicy* and *exotic* cultures of "darker" people...i first came in contact with it when i watched Undercover Brother...A blacksploitaition spoof flick...i don't know where u found out about it TNC...maybe u could fill us in?
Corned beef and potatoes. That's good eatin'.
Reminds me of parts of Undercover Brother. Here's a nice white sandwich, sans cucumbers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-JnMTaX_WU
Not just someone, but ethnic--Russian and Jewish: bagel,cream cheese, smoked whitefish, sliced red onions and cucumbers: the best sandwich ever invented.
Funny, funny post!
BUT -
"And now for a word from your spokesman..."
Aw, hell no! You will not foist this guy as the "white spokeman", thank you very much!
Still - that is typical "white person's" music. As a person born and raised in Texas, the music itself, is pretty typical, if mind-numbing.
My daughter insists on our removing the crusts of pretty much anything. I did too as a kid and grew out of it, so I still have hope for her.
Just saying, if "Australia" had cast Saana Lathan opposite Hugh Jackman, it might have been a better movie.
By the sounds of things, it needed a lot more help than that.
Since were on the topic of dietary differences in the races, two things I've never observed Black person "get" are bloody rare steaks, and dipping bread in oil.
The bread and oil thing ive tried many times and simply don't get, ordering a rare steak i fear is a level a of sophistication I shall never achieve...
I've always thought of cucumber sandwiches as being something that British blue-bloods ate or dainty country club elites of British decent.
My white ancestry is of the indentured servant variety, so I guess that explains why I've never had one or why I eat sandwiches with the crust still on.
Suddenly I have a craving for fried chicken.
My people will never be free until we turn to the one white leader who's willing to do what it takes to liberate us. Yes, that's right, Galactus' time has come!
@Green...the bread in oil thing is not entirely black...i would argue that other minority-cultures have that too! The bloody-steak parts...hm, i think it's more of a sex-thing than a race-thing!
You know, if you add a bit of Tabasco sauce to that recipe for cucumber sandwiches, they might just be worth eating...
Jewish guy here. You like bread and butter, right? Well, how about bread with butter and a few slices of crunchy cucumber? Make sure they're not those nasty, wax-covered grocery store cukes -- try to get some kirby cukes (the kind you make pickles out of). They have more flavor and less water. Those, some good bread, some butter and salt -- it tastes really good.
Wouldn't want to try it with mayo, though. The taste is too strong. Maybe if I made my own mayo I'd give it a shot.
Enough of this pointless stereotyping and food bigotry.
Some of us think that cucumber sandwiches rock, and it should have nothing to do with class, race or nationality.
(Though I'll admit there are correlations.)
@Bruce & Green:
Nope, not entirely Black at all. The first thing which comes to mind is soaking bread in good olive oil, ala Greek cuisine.
@Pesto
I'm in favor of the bread and butter yes...but often also crave a supplement to the bread and butter...besides the veggies...maybe something protein-based (meat, eggs, cottage-cheese)...often takes the whole sandwich to a hole nother level...Tim also has a point...if the bread doesn't have any real flavour...adding only cucumbers won't make it any better...there's a need for flavour there...of course im only speaking for myself!
Another white guy who has never had a cucumber sandwich. In fact, I take it as a personal racist insult for anyone to imply that I might like cucumber sandwiches more than a person of color.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some cream cheese bagels to eat, some Skynrd to listen to, a high-paying job that I don't deserve to go to, and some white friends to make racist comments with.
@OGWiseman
Dude, chill...i come from a culture where people eat cow and sheep brain for breakfast...if i where to be half as sensitive as you are with your cucumberproblem...man, i'd have a busy day!
Now if you'll excuse me, i'm off to eating sheep-scull overcooked in it's own gravy...yaaaay!
Free fried chicken and cognac?! Shit yeah! I knew reading this blog would pay off someday. I just thought it was going pay off by helping my find my black wife.
For reals. TNC, there's a lot of expectations of interracial romance that this blog is not following through on, we'll have you know. All those posts on The Wire and zacksback STILL has not gotten that date with Clark Johnson she's been pining for. :)
Some people say the cucumber tastes better pickled. I agree.
As for bloody steaks and oily bread, these are far more authentically "white" to me than cucumber sandwiches (I'd never even heard of cucumber sandwiches outside of this room). I have had many an argument over bloody v. well-done steak. I consider a well done steak to be a complete waste of a good piece of beef. While the black person at the table considers my barely-dead steak to be just plain gross and possibly dangerous. We shake our heads at eachother in disgust.
And what's up with caribbean blacks putting ketchup on pasta? I think American blacks will agree that that is just plain nasty. Much nastier than drinking cow blood (which is essentially what you are doing when you eat a rare steak).
Black people eat cucumber sandwiches...well at least they do on TV. Remember in "brown sugar" Taye Digg's fiance had some at her bachelorette party? I've been wanting some ever since!
Hilarious post!
As to the connection with whiteness-
from the whitest play from the whitest playwright:
Algernon. How are you, my dear Ernest? What brings you up to town?
Jack. Oh, pleasure, pleasure! What else should bring one anywhere? Eating as usual, I see, Algy!
Algernon. [Stiffly.] I believe it is customary in good society to take some slight refreshment at five o’clock. Where have you been since last Thursday?
Jack. [Sitting down on the sofa.] In the country.
Algernon. What on earth do you do there?
Jack. [Pulling off his gloves.] When one is in town one amuses oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people. It is excessively boring.
Algernon. And who are the people you amuse?
Jack. [Airily.] Oh, neighbours, neighbours.
Algernon. Got nice neighbours in your part of Shropshire?
Jack. Perfectly horrid! Never speak to one of them.
Algernon. How immensely you must amuse them! [Goes over and takes sandwich.] By the way, Shropshire is your county, is it not?
Jack. Eh? Shropshire? Yes, of course. Hallo! Why all these cups? Why cucumber sandwiches? Why such reckless extravagance in one so young? Who is coming to tea?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws0sEpU3yDU
This post is so full of win.
Mayonnaise on a cucumber sandwich? NO! Cream cheese or butter, yes. But never mayonnaise.
Now I'm thinking of having cucumber sandwiches and fried bologna for dinner...
FWIW, I've never been served cucumber sandwiches by white Americans, and routinely by Indians (at home and abroad).
Cucumber sandwiches were introduced to India (thus coming full circle as per KarenZ) by a warlike race of people with entirely un-warlike names like Nigel, Hugh and Reginald. With the passing of post-colonial hangups, they have become remarkably popular among a certain segment of the Brown Collective, the so-called Coconuts.
India's (pink, not white) conquerors however, were not responsible for the other unjustly overlooked pearl of 4-star Indian cuisine: goat-brain scramble avec parantha. That probably comes from Afganistan or points west.
Serwer yells cucumber, and we all run screaming away shouting "Not us."
Then Coates puts up "Raising McCain" and we all run in the opposite direction, squealing "No! No! No!"
I think the name of this game is "Identity Tag" and I think we should play the next round with the lyrics to "You Light Up My Life."
White girl. Loyal reader. And totally cracking up after reading this post.
My grandma LOVES cucumber sandwiches, by the way. Of course, she also digs peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches, too.
Dude, it's bad enough you were blaming us for cucumber sandwich, now we're responsible for Coldplay too? They are British, that's a different species of white people. Can we get a pass for that?
Someone who willingly eats fried whiting shouldn't disparage cucumber sandwiches.
Lord have mercy upon me. Why have you subjected any of us to that wretched country "music"?!
Hey, I like my cucumbers in sandwiches that are called GYROS. Y'know, the Greek ones you can get all over NYC?
Pity the poor cucumber. How'd it become so reviled? Consigned to the likes of arugula, a poor Italian person's green. . .
They are both delicious. 'Tis not the point, I understand, but I felt I needed to stand up for these vegetables, which are not particularly white.
I am SO enjoying your blog. Thanks again.
As a couple of my fellow commenters have mentioned, cucumber sandwiches are not really an American dish; their place is on the tea table in merry old England. They aren't meant to comprise a meal; they're served with other itty bitty sandwiches, scones with clotted cream or lemon curd, and pieces of cake.
Growing up white in the South, I never heard of cucumber sandwiches. After moving north, though, somebody took me to one of those pretentious hotels that claim to serve "high tea," and there they were. Ugh. Scones with clotted cream, though, heavenly.
(And note the complete misuse of the term "high tea" by Americans trying to sound aristocratic. "High tea" actually refers to a supper-like meal, eaten mainly by farmers and the working class. The correct term is "afternoon tea." Yes, I can be as snooty as Oscar Wilde -- who surely has never appeared in this blog before today.)
And I love you, too, T-NC. Thanks for letting us hijack your posting on a serious topic with silly comments about cucumber sandwiches. You are a prince among bloggers, sir.
Well, I'm black and I had a cucumber sandwich at the Ritz Carlton (during high tea, of course). But I also like hot sauce on every dead animal I eat, including my grandmamma's fried chicken-- which I would every day for the rest of my life as long as she's doing the frying. My favorite flavor Kool-aid is indeed "red", but my favorite champagne is Veuve (yellow label).
Seriously, white folks... y'all have to learn to take a joke. Hell, the joke has been on us for at least the last 400 years. I'm just saying...
Scones with clotted cream!
There's a whisper of empire, but a certainty that people eat them in the kitchen as well as the parlor--and they're better served two feet from the oven. The flavor is mild, but there's something to chew on. The ingredients are modest, with the glory coming from the cook excelling at her craft.
Let's just declare that to be the official white people's food and we can all be happy.
(Also, we can throw them at anyone who tries to make us responsible for Pat Boone or Gatsby or golf or antimacassars.)
man, we anglos need a new fucking spokersperson. he sucks. i want a "special election".
and, I nominate John Travolta. In Hairspray.
And now I'm going back to my ham sandwich with lettuce on white bread.
Cucumber sandwich, scones on clotted cream, Oscar Wilde? Not to mention Coldplay. Whaat? Come on, white people of America can do better than that. As a white people whose ancestor is not from England, I resent the implication that everything great about us comes from there. England is so 1770's.
Long as you all don't go hating on yachting, I'm cool.
My maternal aunt, a Chicago native, always made cucumber sandwiches for road trips in California. And, I remember pre-intergration bus and train trips with my Texas-born paternal grandmother and her chicken (back) salad sandwiches. Both were scrumptious -- my peeps can cook. Never thought anything about it until now. Anyhoo -- love the discussion and the T-NC blog.
I've never had a cucumber sandwich ever.. but maybe I should now.. I think I'm losing cracker points by not having had one..
of course, as some have mentioned, cucumber sandwiches seem to be an English thing--and being half Irish/half German--or as I like to say it--half Mick and half Kraut--I bet it just tastes boring as fuck like most English cooking.
Now.. a nice Cheese and Pickle sandwich with habenero mustard, on the other hand.. on good thick german bread that you could throw through a window after a couple of days--that's good eating..
hahahaha
Cucumbers are alright, but please do not stop making fun of Coldplay.
Another sign that China will eventually rise and rule us all: KFC is huge in China, and both watermelons and cucumbers are referred to in Chinese as melons. "Yellow melon" for cucumber, "Western melon" for watermelon. There's some sort of significance to all this, I'm sure.
What the hell is a cucumber sandwich?
And who the hell determined you get fried chicken?
*I* want fried chicken. Its MINE.
Miracle Whip and Mayo?!!! These things have no place in a cucumber sandwich. The traditional cucumber sandwich is made thus:
Thinly (as thin as you can slice it) sliced bread, crusts removed
Thin (think shaved but still cut, not shredded or anything) slices of cucumber
Butter
Salt and pepper
Generously butter both slices of bread. Arrange cucumber slices on one slice. Do not heap but do not be stingy either. Sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste. Place second slice of bread on top. Cut in half. Arrange on a nice plate. Serve with tea.
[Still tastes fucking awful unless you like cucumbers. But is very cooling as a snack]
FUNNY!
May I venture that my first cucumber sandwich was at the "welcome poor scholarship students" reception at my fancy college. And it tasted damn good. So delicate, so wealthy, so.... donated.
(sarcasm warning)
As a white person I demand better food with more appetizing names. Black people have soul food, Koreans have kimchee, Chinese have General Tzo's chicken, as a White American what do I get a $&@! cucumber sandwich. As a white person I demand that we get better treatment. After all this is the race that founded America, killed the Indians (feathers not dots) after taking their land (sometimes before we weren't really too particular), and invented Jim Crow, not to mention Jim Bean as well. I think we could do with a few names of dishes to celebrate the achievements of white people.
As a start in the right direction I recomend the following.
Klu Klux Klan Kabbage.
Sitting Bull Sirloin.
Small Pox hocks (pigs in a blanket)
Railroad Carbombs (to commemorate the Union Pacific)
Also I move that we stop calling white bread white bread. White is not a color it's a value judgment. I that in the name of the years of oppression that we as white people have inflicted upon others we deserve to have a bread that reflects these accomplishments. Therefore I think that we should stop calling white bread white bread. Instead we should call it colonel custer crust. Staff of life just won't do anymore.
(end sarcasm warning)
If anyone else has names to add for foods that would more adequately reflect the history of white people please be my guest.
I think we could start a whole movement.
Segregation Salad (for a caesar because there are no vegetables other than lettuce).
Well a couple of people beat me to noting that the status of cucumber sandwiches as elegant white people food probably comes from Oscar Wilde. But another place one will find that connection is Tom Stoppard's "Travesties" probably the greatest collection of references that the audience has no chance of picking up on combined together in a single play.
The cucumber sandwiches appear in Travesties because in the actual world James Joyce put on a production of The Importance of Being Ernest in Switzerland in 1917 or 1918. I don't know if that counts as a particularly white type of humor on the part of the playwright, but it might.
We eat them with cream cheese though, no mayo. And they are called, "Benedictine" sandwiches.
Yes, white people eat cucumber sandwiches. It may be regional, but does it get any whiter than sipping a mint julep and eating a benedictine sandwich at the Kentucky Derby?
For a recipe:
http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,171,157186-225201,00.html
TNC-if you like white music, maybe you'd like them?
Lon: Word! Travesties is a travesty of, among others, "Earnest". And it was written by a Czech expat for whom English was a second language (as for the =ly brilliant "English" writers Nabokov and Joseph Conrad).
More evidence that race and ethnicity and nationality can explain some of who we are, but are more dangerously close to prejudice --literally pre-judging someone. We can't really know you just because we see your skin or where you (or your folks)are from. And we sure can't guess what food you like. And that's why this exchange is both funny and important, and why this blog is one of this white boy's favorites.
And let's add cucumber sandwiches to the long list of things which rock harder than Coldplay.
"And let's add cucumber sandwiches to the long list of things which rock harder than Coldplay."
I vote we trade Coldplay for Sigur Ros as the streotypical white people music. patagonia, Stacy et al would be happy ...
Doug,
I don't know if Stoppard quite qualifies as a czech expat, he was born in Czeckoslovakia, but a quick Wikepedia search shows that he left when he was two. He went to school in English as a child.
Conrad is amazing. He didn't know any english until he was 22, and he only wound up in England because of some trouble running guns to Spain.
You know, it's just SAD for us white folk, that there is an Indian (asian type) and an "amrita" (also Indian?) who are giving the best description of the CORRECT way to eat a cucumber sandwich.
I say - have we no PRIDE anymore??
Speaking of bizarre behavior found mainly among white people, can anyone explain to me about James Joyce?
I wanted to take back fried chicken for the multi racial milleu, but then I realized that the best fried chicken in the world competition is a toss up between Go Chicken Go and Niece's in KC.
The best white people chicken is Stroud's also in KC, but it doesn't hold up head to head.
http://www.gochickengo.com/
51st and Troost was my spot.
http://www.roadfood.com/Reviews/Overview.aspx?RefID=4533
http://www.stroudsrestaurant.com/
"It has been a common saying of physicians in England, that a cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing." -- Dr Johnson.
English people don't quite get bagels, so you'll find them serving cream cheese + cucumber, which really doesn't work when the bagel's toasted. Cream cheese and Marmite on the other hand is fantastic. Egg and cress sandwiches are fine, too. As are cheese and pickle.
I've never had a cucumber sandwich, but maybe I'm not the right kind of white person... Texas/Louisiana...
I frequently enjoy sliced cucumber as a garnish on Vietnamese and Indian food, however. In the former it's a nice change of texture, in the latter a refresher after an otherwise intense experience.
And I concur that fried chicken and watermelon are universally approved.
I just checked in Isabella Beeton's Book of Household Management--the mid to late nineteenth century bible on cooking--and not a single recipe for cucumber sandwiches. I'm almost positive they were an upper-class British things, since Beeton's book was aimed at a lower-middle-class audience.
Oh, and in Wilde's play, everything to do with food is a metaphor for sexual appetite; Algy and Jack are constantly eating or hungry. So, for Wilde, cucumber sandwiches are about sex.
First off,cucumber sandwiches do not have mayo in them. They're made with cream cheese. Second, around here (Los Angeles), we've got abundant supplies of persian cucumbers which in my opinion are far tastier to normal cucumbers. They're smaller with thinner skin, less bitter and better on sandwiches.
The best breakfast: Toasted everything bagel topped with slices tomato, persian cucumber, onion and fresh jalapeno. Then seasoned with salt and pepper. Yum!
Cucumber sandwiches are as colonial Indian like gin. I think if you watch the movie Gandhi, you will see this being served at one of the cricket matches.
As an Indo-American, I give you the cucumber avocado sandwich - replaces butter with avocado paste.
1/4 avocado
2 slices white bread
Very thinly sliced of cucumber (ice cold).
Thinly sliced onion.
Pile on more than a layer of cucumber if you like. But don't use thick slices.
I was reading yesterday about a medieval magical procedure that involved burning cucumber seeds and watermelon seeds.
So, uh, there's that.
I'm not sure where all this anti-cucumber animosity comes from. I'm not a WASP nor one of these eastern dbags you're describing, and the whole cucumber sandwich is a bit weird, but what's wrong with a couple slices of deliciously cold cucumber with vegetable dip among the sliced carrots and red peppers? Or a delicious triscuit cracker loaded with a thin slice of cucumber, a layer of provolone, a slice of salami, and an olive to top it off?
Nothing is wrong with that. Nothing.
On cucumbers and watermelons, the Italian word for watermelon is "coccomero". In a still more extreme genre bender, the Italian translation of "great pumpkin" (as in Linus's halloween story in Peanuts) is "il grande coccomero" that is the great watermelon and not "la grande zucca"(the great squash for example maybe an extremely large pumkin).
I think cucumbers are delicious -- salad half cucumber half tomato (no lettuce) with balsamic vinegar and olive oil. Very good provided that the tomatoes are Italian. Heeeeeeeyyy cucumbers in the USA are actually edible, that is some vegitable no ?
I have never eaten a cucumber sandwich but an English/Argentine woman claimed they were made with bread, cucumber and butter and no mayo.
TNC is on to something, but he has no idea what.I eat cucumber sandwiches every damn day and so do most white people. It's supposed to be a secret but it's time to lay the cards on the table.
Cucumbers are the not just the essence of whiteness they are the source of whiteness. They contain a special amino acid which enhances and strengthens whiteness. This amino acid is in fact indigestible by non whites so eating them will do them no good.
It's time for white people to embrace their cucumbers (in a non pornographic way)
i'm of indian descent and had no idea cucumbers originated in the motherland. as a matter of fact, i regularly enjoy chutney sandwiches with cucumbers. i'm also half mexican, which probably contributes to the habit i make of eating just cucumber with salt, lemon, and valentino.