Stephen Hahn's A Nation Under Our Feet came in the mail yesterday (thanks for the recommendation, guys). Today, I got the second volume of Louis Harlan's Booker T. biography. I thought Norrell's was really well-written, but I found its polemical aspects unconvincing. I'm going to knock out Capitol Men by week's end, then tackle this Wells Towers joint. I need a fiction break.
I'm having a rather layered reaction to all this reading on Reconstruction. It's surreal to read about P.B.S. Pinchback, or any of the seemingly numerous dudes who were slaves, walked to another state, went to college and then became lawyers. But at the same time it's very hard to take the tragedy of it all. On a personal level, it's hard to read about getting your ass kicked repeatedly by the most vile elements of the country. I've got a bio on "Pitchfork" Ben Tillman waiting for me, but I'm scared to read it. All you need to know about this dude is that his name was "Pitchfork." Pitchfork Tillman. He just sounds like he should be leading a lynch-mob.
I get a lot of comments about my blogging style. A lot of folks want me to twist the knife more, or go a little harder, or throw a few more elbows. I understand the impulse. Part of its racial--they're just so few black writers who get to get on the mic. And there are so many sucker MCs spewing weak shit about black people. You want to see someone force some humility on these dudes.
But the one thing about reading a quality book is that, if you're in the right frame of mind, you're reminded that you're in no position to humble anyone. I remember being young, with my beads, with my tie-die book-bag, my Bob Marley tee-shirt, and my baby dreads. I thought all you needed to know of the world was somewhere between Cointelpro and Kimet. What did I know of class struggle, then? I didn't know even Jack & Jill existed. What did I know of "women's issues?" What do I know now?
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I went off to college, and my mind was blown. Mostly by how many
fucking bad-ass honeys were walking Howard's campus. Man listen--I used
to have to sit down on the steps of Douglass Hall, because I could
barely make my way across the yard. I'm losing my balance just thinking
about it. But, in all seriousness, it was Levering-Lewis right along
with Fitzgerald, it was Hurston right along with Steinbeck. I remember
thinking, "How can I know so little of the world? How could have been
so wrong?"
I'm not hedging, and I'm not holding back. But since
I've started blogging, I've had to take in so much information, and
while it's made me smarter, it's also made me aware of--again--how much
there is to know. I'm almost done with Capitol Men, and I'm actually
getting great insight on the late 19th century white moderate
perspective on Reconstruction. They were pulling troops from the South
to steal land
from the Indians. There were fighting over women's suffrage. The
railroads were blowing up. There was class struggle everywhere. There
were bank panics. And the country was just turning 100. The South had
basically worn them out. I'm actually sympathizing with the white
America of the period. I
actually understand why they couldn't keep fighting. Isn't that sick?
That
sympathy, that sickness is bracing--it's not what I came to the book to
get. But it's what I got nonetheless. It's good to remember how little
power you have over what you know, and how you'll see it in five years.
We have no idea where we're headed. It's blasphemy to act like we do
The Beautiful Struggle: A Father, Two Sons, and an Unlikely Road to Manhood 
Copyright © 2009 by The Atlantic Monthly Group. All rights reserved.
I love reading your blog because you seem so open to learning about new things and critically evaluating your own opinions. More people should be like that... in fact, all of us should be like that. Cheers.
The more I learn the more I realize how little I actually know. I say this all the time to myself and to others. I think your ability to realize that is what attracts people to your writing.
You just described the definition of Education: The more you learn, the less you know!
I've added so many books to my shopping list on Amazon from reading this blog, that I know there is no way I'll ever read them all. If you think about too much, it could drive you mad. But this Capitol Men seems to have affected you so profoundly that I think I'm going to bump it up the list.
There IS too much to know, and not enough time to ever learn it. There is too much good music to listen to without enough time to ever hear it all. It really reminds me of my own mortality.
Truest shit ever. I've had that feeling. It's how you know your old--once you realize you will die without knowing all you wanted.
Church.
Dude, one thing about reading blogs (this one, in particular) and making a feeble attempt at doing one myself is that you realize how many smart people there are out there. To say nothing of the skillful writers. Like, once I considered myself to be a relatively smart person and good writer. But after taking a look around (TNC, hilzoy, Serwer, Yglesias, Sullivan, the cats that run Free Darko, PostBourgie, etc.), my lack of knowledge about so many things became so glaring.
And it can motivate you to try to close the gaps but the problem is you just can't. There isn't enough time to read or listen to it all. It can actually be overwhelming, a lot humbling and a little depressing.
Speaking of book lists, and Freedarko; if you love the NBA, I strongly suggest buying their Macrophenomenal Professional Basketball Almanac. It's silly, over-indulgent, yet completely brilliant.
Fam, this is the third time someone has recommended that book to me. I'm definitely gonna have to pick it up.
Reading this reminds me of the Twilight Zone episode of the old man who survives the end of the world and can finally do what he wants most in the world, which is to read without a nagging wife or other duties.
I go to the library and often look through the music section. Since they are free, I like to take advantage to grab something I don't want to plunk down cash on, something outside my comfort zone and something I might enjoy but have long overlooked. Yet, given the large amount of choice, I usually punk out and get something safe.
yes it can be quite overwhelming to realize the depths of what we don't know. i myself, am fired up, ignited, and inspired when i see people who stare into the abyss and jump right in. i want to be able to understand my world a little bit better and communicate a little bit stronger. your blogs have inspired me to understand my world a little bit more and communicate my feelings more precisely without being stuffy heavy-handed. here here to book lists and well-written blogs!
I used to be really into compiling what I thought were meaningful quotes, and my favorite was always this one from Socrates (though I'm not sure of the wording): The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
If you have not yet done so, you should read Eric Foner's "Reconstruction: America's Unfinished Revolution." You should also read J. Morgan Kousser's "The Shaping Of Southern Politics" which is out of print.
Damn T, these little blog missives of yours are starting to hit on some deep shit. Is it me or is your writing getting stronger. As a middle-aged white guy you definitely expand my world - which, I guess, is the point of this exercise (for both of us).
I was drawn to the Atlantic by your esteemed senior editor and stumbled across your little portal. Andrew has nothing on you. Take the ball and go to the house T.
Watch Coates kicks a hole in the speaker, pull the plug and then jet...
Great post. I know what you mean. I have been trying to read up on the makeup of the universe lately, which suffice it to say has dumbfounded me in how little I know and knew. It's humbling to know that there are over 100 billion observable galaxies and probably over 1 tillion planets. And it's also humbling to know that I will never understand most of what I am reading on this subject. Craziness.
From the vantage point of 62, I can tell you if you're lucky this perspective never changes. My latest project is to go through the world's greatest novels on cd while driving to work for the rest of my working days, which given what happened to my pension in the last seven months means pretty much till I die. For all the young people here who are into literature, I can whole heartedly say whenever you have a chance in this life, War and Peace, The Brothers Karamazov, are profoundly illuminating, moving, trasnsformative literary experiences.
Insofar as your role TN at this site, as with others who post here, I think of some lines from the Tao Te Ching:
"Neither to be one among many like jade
nor aloof like stone..."
and that other (thousand years in the making) compendium of wisdom from ancient China, the I Ching, which notes:
Life leads the thoughtful man on a path of many windings.
Now the course is checked, now it runs straight again.
Here winged thoughts may pour feely forth in words,
There the heavy burden of knowledge must be shut away in silence.
Humility, the mark of the truly educated.